Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Unstable Relationships-Why?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 9/27/2002 5:03 AM MDT

At one stage of my life, a guy came in my life, when i was 19, he was around 28, he said he loved me....and the circumstances showed that he was not lying, i really got attached with him, then i knew it was wrong, because i do strongly believe that relationship should only come in life after marriage....i always felt i was doing some thing wrong, so there was always this tension in me......we had lots of fights as well, he even introduced me to his mother, i spoke to her over the phone........nothing happen in person.........i dont know, a year later he changed, he said he was having some career problems.............then he changed completely............some one who would call you daily, wont even speak with you if you call........strange!!!!!

i just think it is strange how god works sometimes... he sends a person in your life who shows alot of love towards you and then suddenly turns your back on you, right at the time when you start trusting in him, when you actually feel that this was the person god chose for you........i mean it is strange.. is nt it, this was not like dating, you date for a month or two then suddenly break up....all this was may be my past lives bad deed's result..this is what gurbani says..doesnt it.......now, i think what happened was for best, my life is so much better now without that person in my life.........but then i think i had to go through all the pain and sorrow........why, i just wish that i never knew that person............

Why does god arrange this in people's lives........why.......i dont know, do you.............

***********
REPLY
************
Sat Siri AKaal. Either you live your dharma or you live your karma. No doubt this fellow was supposed to come into your life, due to some karma of yours and/or his. While attractions -- especially for teenagers-- are hard to deal with, a person living their dharma as a Sikh would not have gotten deeply involved with this person in the first place. S/He would have perhaps, gotten involved in social activities with the person that do not compromise her inner virtues or morality and in time, the truth of the other person would have come clear.

When you live your karma, you live without, perhaps, thinking through the consequence of YOUR actions (not the other person's!). The conciousness of living dharma is that you ask yourself often if an action fits dharmic values and morality. Of course, my answer to you presumes that you consider yourself to be truly a Sikh. So this is also a question to ask yourself. But if you spend some time reading Siri Guru Granth Sahib, you will see that Gurbani tells us by remembering the Lord, all our affairs are arranged and our 'account' (karmic debt) is wiped clean. So, to avoid personal disasters or at least to get yourself through them with a steady heart and mind, read your banis daily and practice Naam Simran, meditation on the Name. It truly is the way to cross this world ocean in victory. A meditative mind gives you the clarity to know what is and isn't good for you/your life, and gives you the stability to not fall into the emotions and commotions that go with living karma without dharma.
Guru ang sang,
-DKK