i understand what u mean
i can only answer from experience
3 yrs ago - i was clean shaven didn't know anything about sikhism (no one in my family is amritdhari)
with guru's kirpa i experience tre lifestlye - and started keeping the reht
firstly by keeping my hairand slowly once i made a comitment to guru ji i started following other aspects of sikHism
before i was blessed with amrit i started wearing a kirpan
and like u someone told me i shouldn't were it without taking amrit
i got a bit confused and asked many ppl for advice
the general advice i got
is that if u are sincere in the wearing of it (i.e not just for show etc)
and u are sincere in moving foward in sikhism (i.e - am getting prepared and ready to take amrit by practising the reht of kakaars and nitnem and not doing the 4 kurehts) and u also know the respect a kirpan deseveres
then by all means carry on wearing it
in the old days PPL WANTING TO TAKE AMRIT WOULD HAVE TO PRPARE FOR SOME TIME BEFORE BY WEARING ALL THE KAKAARS AND FOLLOWING THE WAY OF LIFE
AND AS I SAID FROM MY EXPERIENCE -WHEN I STARTED WEARING THE KIRPAN I HADN'T TAKEN AMRIT - BUT THE POWER OF GURU JI AND KIRPAN WAS SO MUCH THAT I NEVER TOOK IT OF FROM THAT DAY AND TOOK AMRIT A YEAR AFTERWARDS
AS LONG AS U HAVE FIRM FAITH IN GURU JI AND SIKHISM - THE ANSWERS WILL COME TO U IN TIME
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Re: The Kirpan (01/04/2000)