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Summary of Question:	Very Urgent Pleaseeeee!
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 2/22/2009 9:44 PM MST

Hello,

Thanks so much for guiding me when I had no one to go to through your previous replys .

I fell in Love with a wonderful man but due to some reasons, he could not marry me. I spoke to him even after his wedding and when he didn't accept his wife, I asked him to go to her and give her all the love that a wife would expect from her husband. I have stopped talking to him now or at least I am trying but It is extremely painful.

But as we live in different countries I met him when he came where I live like 2 yrs back, he taught me kirtan.

I have forgotten every shabad he taught me as I had no harmonium to practice with.

Now my question is, he is again coming to the place where I live to serve in a gurudwara for a year.
you told me to keep away from him amd forget him and to be honest till date I tried but could not forget him.

What shall I do now? Shall I learn Kirtan from him again? Things are not the same he was my bestest friend and I lost him because of our love (you know I never had a best friend in life, nor do I have one now) he was my only friend.

If I do meet him and learn kirtan...it wouldn't be normal for me. I think I wouldn't be comfortable infront of him, as I have spoken to him when I loved him as his wife (spoke about everything babies, sex and just everything).

And I can't forget that he slept with another woman( his wife) when he had accepted me to be his wife, and what would I even call him?

by his name? my love? or bhaji?
I have lost all faith on love and happiness in life? If this can happen to me, it can happen to any person? All I wanted was him, that's it, I never asked for big beautiful houses, diamond, etc etc. I was even ready to live in a chopdi with him.

I loved him just as he was( he is only 10th pass) and i am a gradaute from a foreign uni, I didnt think about this...or the family status or anything?

How will I face him now?
Do you think I should again learn kirtan from him, I want to but am just so broken in life now that I don't know if I would have the courage to sing again in the gurudwara (you know the first day i sang shabad in the gurudwara, it was amazing, i was just happy, can't describe that feeling).

What shall I call him now? (veer?)

I thought I would never meet him again, but I will go to the gurudwara as usual but only different thing would be he would be there now.

please PleaSE HELP ME
he will be here in a week

thanks
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reply
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Satnam dear one, You are still tortured because you have not moved on. Why would you want to step again into the same "shit" that brought you to this place of pain? Do you hate yourself and your God?

Let Wahe Guru fill your life. Devote yourself to mediatate on the shabd "Mangala Saaj Bhayaa........". You can sing it for 31 minutes daily or recite it 11 times a day. It is for finding happiness. You are so filled with duaity because you are still flirting with the IDEA of this man> He is nothing. He does not even exist for you. As a princess of Wahe Guru allow some very correct relationship come to you. As long as you are obsessed in your mind with that man, you are blocking a wonderful partner from coming to you. Move on and find your peace of mind. God bless you,
SK.........do not even look at him and definitely do not take classes with him...find a lady teacher...like me.