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Summary of Question:	Confused About Your Messages
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 2/25/2001 9:06 AM MST

I have read all your posts relating to marriage. In the posts dated 1999 you suggest that there is mothing wrong with dating and in later posts it is suggested dating is wrong. I am not be harsh but I would like you to define dating. What is and what is not allowed?

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Reply
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Greetings and blessings to you.

There are different people at different times who are answering the questions on the youth forum. We try to be consistent. Some of the questions are very specific while others are more general.

First of all, dating is when a man and a woman go out together, alone. This is a common mating practice in the Western world. In the East, this practice is unheard of. In the East mating is arranged by the families. The integrity of the man and the value of the woman is not jeapordized in this way. They can meet and socialize with the family or in the company of an intersted brother or sister.

Dating in the West has become so widespread that social pressure has young children dating when they should be enjoying their innocence. Again, in this country children as young as 10 and 11 date alone and even have sex. These children are essentially abandoned by their families and used by society.

In our Sikh way of life, our focus is on developing ourselves as a whole and balanced human as well as a spiritual being. We have many do's and do nots. Premarital sex, smoking, drinking, drugs is not an option for us. We have a very clear value system. This is rewarding and also very protective to our values and our self respect.

In conclusion, dating is discouraged and usually is discouraging to either the girl or boy, and can lead to difficulties of compromising your values for a moment's thrill. Not worth it!