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Summary of Question:Infertility & Amrit
Date Posted:Wednesday, 9/16/2009 2:01 PM MDT

My husband and I have been married for 16 years and failed to have children. We have tried everything under the sun. We went to India 3 years after we were married on a spiritual trip and without really studying the doctrines and family pressure of doing Amrit, we both went ahead with it.

My husband followed it through but a few months later I realized that this was too much for me and began to remove bodily hair.

To this day, we have been accused and mocked for breaking the Amrit and consequently not being blessed with children. I myself, have a hard time in believing that if I took the Amrit again, we will be blessed. To me, practicing sikhism (or any faith) is following the ground rules. Call it the 10 commandments for instance. I believe I am a good person, I donate, I go to gurdwara and I do paath every day.

My parents have now decided that we should go back to India and once again ask for blessing from the Santh at the gurdwara. I fear that this may yet again be for Amrit and I am forced to do it!

I love my parents and wouldn't want to hurt them. We have also accepted the fact that maybe its "not meant to be" but they refuse to believe this and all our family and relatives are saying this is the only path!

Any advice would be much appreciated.


Sat Nam,

You are right, Amrit is not for everyone it is a very individual thing. It does not mean you don't have a meaningful connection to your path. We only take from the teachings as much as we do and it is not for anyone to try and define it for us. I believe that there are things that people sometimes confuse with taking Amrit is the power of your connection to the Guru and the strength of your prayer.

It could very well be that the experience you agreed to have in this life is without children so there may not be a reason to blame yourself or let others make you feel guilty. What if all your husband and yourself came together in this life for is to enjoy each other's company? In this case you should just look each other in the eyes and agree that this is what you are going to do and do the best job of it.

If however, you truly feel that there should be a child in your life I would consider working on the power of your meditation which is ultimately the strength of your prayer. One suggestion would be finding a bani that will bring a soul into this world. Another would maybe praying to meet a healer who can help you or a saint who can gift you with a child. I believe power of prayer can really accomplish a lot. If you get to the Golden Temple and talk to Guru Ram Das he may just answer.

Of course you may have done all of that and it did not work. The Guru never gives you the wrong thing in life regardless of who you are, whether you are a Sikh or not, Amridari or not. Even if you were a person who does not even believe in the Guru or his strength he will love you just the same if you come to him with a prayer. The Guru loves all regardless of their faith, gender, race, creed and all the other persuasions you may be of.

You should always believe in the power of Guru's miracle but if you pray for a child and he says "no" then there must be something else in this life that you need to be working on. You need to figure out what it is. You may ask yourself what is it that you really wishing for. Do you just want to please your relatives or find your own fulfillment. The answer may surprise you if you are really honest with your self. And if it is not really about having a child feeling guilty about it would be the most useless thing to do.

I wish you the best on your journey and may it be a blessed one.


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