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Summary of Question:	Parents
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/06/2002 12:21 AM MDT

WJKK WJKF

i have read recently thatas we are sikh we are supposed to make our parents happy. i am a gursikh amritdhari girl, i go to college and work full time so i could help my parents fiachially. but what my problem is recenlty my uncle moved in with us and he tells my dad things about me. which are not truewhat bothers me the most is that my dad whenever i tell me that is not true he does not believe me. i have never done anything wrong in my entire life but if it still does not make my parents happy i dont know what to do? my dad asks me meningless questions which most of the time leads to a arugment. i have try every way tot ell him that i have never done those things that my uncle is saying but i guess my father believes my uncle more then me. my dad is in amotional pain and stress over things i dont even do. and sometimes he yells and screams at me saying that i am going to ruin his reputation. he is a good man calm and artidhari but he just dosen't trust me and i dont know how to make him trust me. he thinks i am like other girls in my city and he wants me to get marrie but i told him i am not getting marrie till i finish school but that does not go though him. sometimes i feel that he is already blaming me for things i dont do , i might as well as start doing those things. i think he cares more about his reputation more than his own daughter. can you please help me i am under s lot of stress because of this. thank you so much without you guys i dont who else would i tell me probelems to and get advice.

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REPLY
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Wahe Guru Ji ka Khalsa!
Wahe Guru Ji ki Fateh!

Khalsa Ji - You cannot make your parents happy. You cannot make anyone else happy. You can only be happy yourself. Just be even, loving and neutral towards your father and do not react to his anger. When other people slander you, it does not rquire a response from you. I'm sure you understand what Guru Ji has to say about slanderers. Pray for your father and for your uncle. Keep your heart open and be true to yourself. Do not fight, just be straight and true. If someone confronts you with meaningless questions, do not defend or contradict; just say, "I don't understand" and let them expend their energy repeating themselves as you say, "but, I don't understand."

It is simple. Keep up. Maintain your values. Lay your stress at the Guru's feet and give it to him. It is not your problem. You belong to the Guru. Let it be his problem. He will take care of it.

.....G