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Summary of Question:Daughter Wants Daddy To Wear Hat
Category:Hair
Date Posted:Friday, 7/26/2002 6:16 AM MDT

Sat Sri Akal,


My 6 year old daughter feels uncomfortable when I wear a turban to her school functions as she is the only sikh girl in the school. She often tells me to wear a hat instead of turban as people around her will be more comfortable with her daddy's appearance.

How do I explain to a 6 year old about this? She does take punjabi classes, sikh history lessons as well as gurbani lessons, but the thought of keeping one's identity hasn't been understood by her yet.

I do read her sakhis, but some of them have such hard words for her to understand. I often relate the sakhis to our daily life and then she understands it well. Am I doing something wrong by translating guru sakhis with our general life. But I guess that is what our gurus wanted to do anyway.

Please advise.

Sat Sri Akal,

Ravinder

(REPLY) It sounds as if you're being a really good father, by making the stories understandable to your daughter! One thing that some of our parents have done to make their Sikh children more comfortable, is to arrange with her teacher or principal to give a short talk to the children in her school (or at least in her class) to explain who Sikhs are, and why we wear turbans! This will make you a celebrity in your daughter's eyes, and should take away her worry about your looking "different." By openly stating that we Sikhs wear the distinctive clothing purposely so that we are easily identifyable (and you can explain about how when Guru Gobind Singh at the age of 9, saw his father's Sikhs running away in fear when the great Guru was beheaded for refusing to give up his faith, the little boy determined that when he grew up, his sikhs would always have the courage to be recognized, and they wouldn't run away!) Children usually want to "fit in" -- and it takes courage to be different, but if you are firm in your commitment, and gently explain -- as many times as it takes (!) until she understands, you will be giving her an example of the greatest thing a child can have, a parent who has unwavering values, and takes pride in his faith. This way, she can grow up to be proud of her Sikh heritage. May God bless you and Guru guide you. SP



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