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Summary of Question:	Sikh Girl Marrying A Hindu Boy
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 7/18/2002 4:31 PM MDT

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh.

I come from a Gursikh family and offlate have a serious problem. One of my cousins is in love with a hindu boy and wants to marry him at any cost. Her parents have tried their best but she dosent seem to understand. The points she puts forward is our Guru's have taught us that entire mankind is one, we should not believe in caste and creed and also that she is not going to convert after marriage she will continue to follow sikh faith but will not ask her husband to do so.

I know that she is right but I seriously feel that we have a commitment to our religion, we want our religion to grow and if each one of us starts marrying outside our religion then I dont understand how will our religion grow. Please clear my confusion so that I can answer her points appropriately.Thanks.

(REPLY) I appreciate your concern for your cousin, and your commitment to the growth of our religion. I seriously doubt if anything you say will have any effect on your cousin. However, you might point out to her that in any marriage, one of the most important ingredients to make it a success -- long term (!) is for husband and wife to share the same spiritual values and practice. There are enough problems in any marriage without adding this additional difference of basic approach to life. Plus, what about when they have children? To say that it's OK to let the child be raised in both, and then "choose" is really a horrible thing to do to a child. Children need the security of growing up with definite values, without any duality. Yes, of course as Sikhs we respect - and will defend_-- other religions, but we don't practice them! Parents with two different faiths will be confusing to any child. When a young person (I assume your cousin is young) is "in love" they really are "blind" -- and so it's doubtful if she will change her mind no matter what arguments you present. May God and Guru bless you for your concern, and inspire you with the right words! SP