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Summary of Question:	Attachment To Maya Or Just A Good Career Move?
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 6/25/2002 5:48 AM MDT

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ke Fateh.

First of all I would like to wish you all the best & congratulate you on the service you are providing. Just in case you don't realise it, but you are helping thousands of people out there, that are lost & all they need a little good advice.

Right, I've had many ups & downs in my life (I'm 23 years old). I'm not complaining & I'm sure everything that's happened to me was due to Bad Karma in my past life. I'm not Amrithari, although I don't eat meat, smoke or drink & I do my best to live life as a good sikh & find my way to God. I do Seva in the mornings & go to the Gurdwara almost everyday. Sometimes when I want something in life (& as most people out there... I have list of things I would like) I don't know what to ask God for, but deep down in my heart I know God can hear me & knows what I really want.

At present I'm going through a lot of hurt/pain caused by a person I had a short relationship with (over a year ago). But previous to this I had already been through a lot.

My problem is... I currently have a good job & work for a large firm but I might be facing redundancy. On the other hand even if I stay I know that I won't get anywhere in my career. Outside of my normal job I have been involved in a Film Production & have had many offers in that field which I have turned because it's not my chosen career. Lately I have been offered a job that fits in with everything I want, the benefits are something that I would never turn down BUT there's a catch! The person I would be working for is a Business Man and is used to a different type of lifestyle to myself i.e. hugging & kissing someone is just being polite according to him. I have been told that I would need to adjust slightly because of the people I would be dealing with. I am fine with the odd hug & greeting people but I have a limit. Almost a thousand thoughts go through my head for example my parents.. what would they think and secondly the Sikh Religion... is it allowed. My other concern is the Person I would end up working for finds me attractive (& has told me on many occasions), so far everytime we get together to discuss my future plans he doesn't seem to keep his hands to himself which makes me feel VERY, VERY uncomfortable. On the other hand he does it to his fellow female employees, none of them are Sikh girls. (The wierd thing is he's a Sikh too, but I'm on a different wave length to him)

I feel as if I'm being tested by god.. On one hand I've been given the opportunity of a life time, where I can make something of myself, but at the same time I would have to bite my tongue i.e. accept this over the top "touchy, feely" environment... which would be totally one sided because I'm just not that type of person. The other thing that plays on my mind is that a lot of people would think (already think) that I've been offered the job purely because of my looks. I am grateful to God for this, but it causes me more trouble than it's worth.. I get approached all the time & it really annoys me because it gets too much sometimes (often it attracts unwanted attention)

I want the job 100% but, I'm worried about ending up in a situation where it will be very difficult to get out of, basically if I'm totally honest I don't really trust him (my possible future employer). I also feel as if, if I do take the job it's only because of money which at the end of the day is just materialistic.

Please, Please... Can you give me your advice on this, it's eating me up.

Once again you guys are doing a very good job, God Bless & keep up the good work.

Rab Rakha.

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Sat Siri Akal, darling.

You have your answer. You don't trust the guy. The environment will be over the top. And the only reason you're even considering doing it is because it seems like a dream job. But actually, it sounds like it will turn out to be a nightmare job.

If you are being offered a position by a man who (1) find you attractive and (2) wants you to change your style by being more hugging/kissing-RUN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. This sounds like a sexual harrassment case waiting to happen and you need to be smart enough to not take the bait in the first place. Look-the only test is this: are you going to listen to your intuition? Or are you going to let a fantasy of what this job could be like guide you? Trust what you see. Trust the fact that this makes you uncomfortable. Listen to yourself. Don't let a fantasy get in the way of what all the cues are telling you.

Guru has a destiny for you, and that destiny is GRACEFUL. Sometimes-what we're here to do looks very different than what we think we're here to do. Don't sacrifice your values for money. Money will always come when you need it/ Values, once lost, are difficult to regain. If you're not sure about where to go in the future for work-that's OK. Better to wait patiently for something that feels right, then to jump into something that looks right, but feels wrong-if you know what I'm saying. This "opportunity of a lifetime" doesn't sound like the kind of opportunity you really need. Trust yourself and let this go. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble in the end.

You're bright, young and beautiful, Wait for the right situation. It will come to you in time.

Good luck and God bless.

GPK