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Summary of Question:	Extramarital Sex
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 8/03/2002 1:06 PM MDT

Do you think that there is anything wrong with extramarital sex as an expression of love and not as an expression of lust?? I have been in love before, although have not had sex before, and am well aware of the difference between the two.

(REPLY) If there is true love, then there is commitment; commitment means marriage. Young people can mistake emotional attraction for love. They may not call it lust, but it's usually raging hormones, and is not going to lead to happiness. Temporary pleasure, perhaps, but ultimately sadness and disappointment. It is a serious mistake to indulge in extramarital sex. Not only is it against the code of conduct of the Sikh religion, but it almost invariably ends up with broken hearts and betrayal, leaving emotional scars that may never heal. Feelings of guilt are unavoidable for people who have extramarital sex. Sex without the commitment of marriage lacks mutual respect -- despite all the things that current society seems to believe and act upon. Particularly for a woman, it lowers her self-esteem, and spoils her future. It's not a question so much of "moral judgment" but of the practical reality of the karmic consequences we set in motion when we go against the highest ethical behavior. Considering that the purpose of life is to reach a state of divine union with God, we are going in the opposite direction when/if we do anything contrary to the highest ethical standards. SP