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Summary of Question:Pity?
Date Posted:Tuesday, 11/25/2008 7:08 AM MST

hello, i have a big problem.

The point is i dont know why but i am a kind of human who feels too much for pple who are unkind to me. I mean if i see them sad i feel pity for them. But my friends said dont feel pity and help them because they are just using you.

The thing is, i have a classmate and she had a big fight with me and my friend. Well its her fault, because we came to know that she slanders a lot and didnt stop after telling her. I have always kown that she talks bad about me but i was always ok with her but now i cant bear it. I have these thoughts that she is bad, she said this to me and that etc and afters i feel like she is not bad her behavoir is bad etc but sumhow i feel this damn pity.

She use to insult me behind my back and all but i am like if i see her alone in class and no one is talking with her. i am like i dont know my heart melts but this is wrong, because she hates me and i have no hate for her and i should be neutral. I dont know i always feel pity for pple who are unkind towards me. I feel like helping them. I know i sound stupid
Please tell me what to do.. Not only in this case. I am always like that i think its a disease..

Should i have pity and help pple who hate me and after helping them they use me and make fun of me..

One of my friends said that nowdays Kind hearted pple are always used by others.. I dont know how to think and feel

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Sat Naam, Dear One - You are a very sensitive person and you feel things deeply. You cannot change other people, but you can choose not to listen to slander and negativity. Your feelings are not the problem. You must keep your heart open and feel compassion. But compassion is not pity. Rely on Maharaj Ji to protect you and make consciousness choices at each moment regarding what you choose to listen to and what you choose to think about. It's your mind. Let it serve you, not run you around in circles of pitying thoughts.

You be kind. Let your kindness be an example to others. They will see their own unkindness reflected in the mirror of your kindness.

Now, what to do? You must start develop a habit to meditate each day. Set aside a time and find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed. A good way to begin is to do Kirtan Kriya for 31 minutes every day. There's a video here

This meditation will break the emotional habit that has become set in your subconscious mind. Don't be angry that you feel pity. Just break the habit. Be neutral and kind. Listen to Gurbani kirtan on your music player and if you can play kirtan overnight, while you are sleeping, so that you go to sleep listening and wake up listening, that is very powerful as well.

In the Name of the Guru, the Light of every Sikh, and the Holy Naam which holds the world.

All love in Divine, .....G

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