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Summary of Question:Accept Or Not To Accept?
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Friday, 4/27/2001 7:53 AM MDT


I went out with a guy for years, we told our parents- we were of different caste, however our parents agreed and everything got sorted. The next day it all got broken off because (apparently) some of his family did not agree with it. This was a great blow for me as i thought he'd stick up for me through thick and thin - but he did't have the courage to face his parents.

This episode still haunts me - I still pray he'll come back even though I know I shouldn't. Its especially hard now that my parents are forcing an arranged marriage on me - I'm not ready!

My dilema: Are we just supposed to accept what God has put our way, or does true prayer get rewarded?
Greetings to you in the Name of God the light of every soul and in the Name of Guru the life of every Sikh.

This is very painful time for you. But it is also a very important time for you.

One of the hardest emotional experiences of a woman has is to love someone who does not love her back. This acceptence that you refer to is to accept that this relationship is now in the past and you are free to move on. This is the part to savor rather than looking behind at your pain and disappointment.

You are speaking of God's will as a punishment. This is Not what God's will is. If you are truely devoted and conscious of your own God identity, then you can see beyond the pain of the day to day, beyond the pain of these fleeting emotions to a place of truth where the love and blessing of God is constant.

Every challenge given to you in this life of yours is a gift from God to give you greater depth of experience to find the real 'Truth' of life. Pain has a way of waking us up to look for greater meaning of life.

Accept this happening as an indication of God and Guru's great love for your soul to give you more than you would have had in that marriage, had it happened. You will see what I mean if you can keep up and look further into yourself for your own truth and happiness in life.

You may be correct to explain to your parents that you are not ready for a marriage that you cannot presantly consent to. Better, to take some time and enjoy the love of your True Groom and absorb yourself into Gurbani.

Use this Shabd to heal the wounds of your lost love. Use it to heal the dissappointment of your being betrayed as a woman. Use this Shabd to regain or find the excellance of your God given grace and nobility as a woman of God. Use it to regain your confidence to live a life of love and respect for yourself.

The Shabd that will help you is "Bhand jamee-ay bandh nimee-eh, bhand manganaa-vee-aaho". You will find it in the end of Asa Divar.

Recite this Shabd, out loud 11 times a day, or sing it for 31 minutes, Do this for the next 90 days. Do not miss a day. If you do miss, then start over at day one again until you finish.

Guru promised that the woman who recites or sings this Shabd will have grace. It is a promise. When you recite this Shabd it will stop the indignity and bestow the dignity. It gives you the inner and outer grace. A woman who sings this shall have a perfect own God's shield around her.

Also, through this Shabd one develops reverence and sacredness in relationships. It takes away mother phobia and anger.

I will give you the English translation, while you can look up the Gurmukhi to recite daily.

Guru Nanak:
"Within a woman man is concieved, within a woman man is born.
With a woman man is engaged and married,

With a woman man enjoys friendship,
through a woman the generations of life continues.

When a man's wife dies, he seeks out another.
To a woman, man is bound.

Why call her bad to whom kings are born?

From a woman a woman is born.
Without a woman, there would be no one.

O Nanak, the only one without a woman
is the One True Lord.

The mouth which ever praises the Lord
is very blessed and beautiful.

O Nanak, their faces will be radiantly bright
in the Court of the True God."

God bless you, SKKK

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