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Summary of Question:	Please Help...I Need Help Fast
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 2/25/2004 8:27 PM MST

Ssa all of u guyz…I dn have a lot of time so I ll be short…k I m 15 n I m in Canada…k…I just moved to a new city about 20 mins drive from my old city, I go to this new school now…there are not a lot of Indians there…just like in total of 20 or something together…and I was hanging around with them and slowly I found out that they talk behind my back and they like leave me out if they are doing anything…when I am with them they act like I don’t exist…I try to start a converstation and stuff but they jus say like ‘yes’ or ‘no’ thaz it…if I dn eat lunch…they dn even ask if im hungry or if I wana buy something…I tried to get involved like lending them money and stuff…buh they never return it…n they say how I always follow them…n other a lot of stuff…now what shud I do?…most of the other people are black…buh I wana hang around with a person whose atleast know who Indians are…no offence but I find it hard to hang around with black or white people and I am afraid that I dn start acting like them…I mean I use slangs and stuff but I dn wana act like they do..if u r in high school…u ll no what I am talkin about…so what shud I do?…I lost my trust in people…before when I met new people I didn’t had problems opening up to them…but now like whenever I meet new people I have this obsessions that I have to be perfect so they will have to like me and they wont have nothing to talk behind my back…I lost trust in my-self…I dn tell jokes because I think people will go behind my back n say how I think I am soo funny!!!!…what shud I do…thaz y I dn wana go to new school as this was my new school too…this how it is everywhere…now I can go back to my old high school which is almost 30 minutes from the bus…my mom first said ok…but my dad is very very strict I dn think he is goin to allow me…he was used to live in a pind in India…he went to school but I know he didn’t go through this stuff…and my mom wont dare to talk bak to him so that he can allow me..and now my mom is kinda bakin off too by makin excuses and I dn feel like going to school…I want to miss school…I even missed yesterday n lied to my parents and now I feel guilty…what shud I do,…plz plz help me…n by the way people at my old high skool…those people luv me…I didn’t want me to leave…most of the people are Indian there,,,plz tell me what I shud do…thanx a lot…please try to respond as soon as possible because I have to make a decision within two days!!..plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!

(REPLY) Sat Nam. High School these days can be a really, really hard situation, and it seems your new school has a bunch of Indian kids who are thoughtless and unkind -- which is not the way Sikhs are supposed to be. I know you want to be liked -- everyone wants to be liked! But if you can't go back to your old school (and I hope you can) then stop "trying" to make people like you. And simply focus on your school work. Be pleasant and polite to everyone, and maybe find someone who looks lonesome and do something kind for that person, maybe even if he's black or white. You say you "have to make a decision" -- what decision is that? Seems you have to do what your parents tell you at this point in time. The best encouragement I can give you is that this period of time will not last forever, and those who are giving you a bad time will be out of your life when you graduate. So, don't let them spoil your life now! Meanwhile, read Japji Sahib every morning before you go to school, to connect you with your soul, and maybe it will help you remember during the day that God lives and breathes in you. Instead of resenting and disliking those guys who are being unkind, try to forgive them for their ignorance, because that is what it is. It is, unfortunately, typical of some teenages to pick on, or exclude the new guy, so don't them them upset you,that gives them POWER over you -- and you don't want to let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. I think if you stop wanting or expecting anything from them, you will stop feeling hurt. Sorry for the pain you're in now, but again, remember, it won't last forever. May God and Guru bless you. SP