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Summary of Question:	Is It Wrong To Marry A Clean Shaven Guy?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 10/03/2007 10:17 AM MDT

Hello-

I am a 25 year old girl from a very traditional sikh family. I met a guy online 2 years back and started liking him regardless he is not a turbned sikh and not as well educated as myself. I knew from the very first day that my parents would never allow me do such kind of thing. Even the mere thought of telling them that "I've found a guy for myself (ONLINE)who is not a turbned sikh" would make me go numb. But by God's strength I did tell one day the entire story. My mom and brother were in tears from this act of mine. I also feel ashamed for myself doing such a thing. At the same time I find this guy a perfect because of his other values and his approach to life. We still talk on the phone and we have never seen each other in person as he is from UK and I am in US. Now my parents are giving me two option: either marry this guy (which I know they are not happy with) or stop talking to him on the phone so they can have me start talking to the other guy that they have found (who is very well educated and a turbned sikh).
Please advise me what should I do?
Thank you all,
Sat Sri Akal
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reply
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My dear,

You have never met this guy and you are in love with him?
I must reserve my reply for this foolishness of yours.
You are enchanted with an illusion and your parents are correct.

Still, you know nothing about him at all....only what he can write so effectively on computer. I am guessing that he is from a Sikh family.

So, given your family background and values why have you not expressed your
requirements of a visable committment from this man? Really?! Consider that
to win you he should express himself with actions that are inline with your
training and you should not be won so easily with his words. Words have very little durability and strength unless they are the words of the Guru. And you are staking your entire future happiness on words of his.

I suggest that you tell him your requirements to grow his hair and start trying a turban if he wants to marry you. Then, see how you can effect him and plan a meeting with him and your family after he does this. The time before marriage is when you can test his caliber. If you can uplift and inspire him to win you and value you and Wahe Guru, then he has passed a very important test. (Have him view all the movies on SIKHNET contest and share some of the lectures on www.mrsikhnet and dialogue them).

Otherwise, I hope you wake up soon.

Many blessings to you,
SKKK