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Summary of Question:	Husband Is Cruel
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 3/29/2007 9:59 PM MDT

Hello.

My question is an unpleasant one, in the sense, that it involves 4 people. I was married 5 years ago, had an arranged marriage. Now I have 2 kids. I tried to make my marriage work, and am trying to. My husband at times says things such as "I dont want to see your face" "we can sign divorce papers whenever you want",etc. Financially he is always depleting everything, sending money to his family in India , to his parents there and his sister. He doesn't spend much time at all with the children. He doesnt spend time with me , as a wife or as a family. Sex is sex, he will do it when I think he has someone else on his mind, no love talks, just it, you know. I know I am dumb to have 2 children with this guy. Being an Indian girl I even spoke to my parents and aunt about divorcing him, nobody listens to me and says things like you must now be with him because of your children. He lectures alot, takes things seriously, no good conversation.
Help me. HOw do i deal with this life. How to live like this?
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reply
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Dear one,
You have 2 choices really:
1. get some marital help......counseling for you
if you can get for both of you this would be great.
Do get some help! You are feeling too alone and unhappy.

There may be small things to help improve the marriage....smile at him more, find relaxing things to do together. Recite rehiras at night and bless your family and your home.

2. I dislike telling anyone to divorce...but this course you can take when all else fails especially if he is physically abusive.

Do try the getting help option and see what new insights you gain.

Blessings,
SKKK