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Summary of Question:	Relationship Problems
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/11/2003 8:53 AM MDT

I am a 16year old male from Sydney Australia (christian, but not really a religious person anyway), I met a Sikh girl (who was originally from Punjab) of similar age and I really like her, and she really likes me. The problem lies with her parents. They won't let her know any boys at all. But I am really wondering why this is so.

I personally see this as torture of sorts, especially during teenage years. I have no intention on having sex with her. But if we really like each other what's the problem? And why is she not allowed to know any boys at all? Would this be traced back to her religion, or is it just a problem with her parents, or both?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Simply stated, parents of a 16year old girl, especially a Sikh girl, do not want her getting involved with boys, and having a romance and getting pregnant. I know that sounds extreme, but that's the way it happens these days. They are trying to protect her virtue, and prevent her getting her heart broken as well, which often happens when young girls start dating. And especially since you are not of the Sikh faith, that is another strike against any relationship. Sikh parents usually want their children to marry Sikhs, so that they will have that common bond of worshipping together, and raising their children as Sikhs. It is a cultural as well as a religious attitude, and one which has to be respected at her age. You nay have "no intention" of having sex with her, but as someone once said, "every date has a pit." Sorry I have to agree with her parents on this one, because read over and over on this site of girls who are miserable because of having been dumped by some boy -- or who have gotten involved with someone, and then the parents won't allow a marriage. I would hope that her parents would allow her to go out in groups of friends her own age- but never alone. But, it's their choice, not yours, and in the long run, it's for her benefit.