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Summary of Question:	Despair
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 7/25/2005 5:16 PM MDT

Hello,

Thanks for all your hard work for this Q and A forum.
It is really great.
I have a few problems and was wondering if there was anyone out there who can help. Basically, everything is going wrong. I can't even remember a time when everything was going smoothly. I pray regularly and yet I seem to still be in the midst of despair. My parents are pressuring me to get married which I want to as well but everyone they introduce me to, well it never really goes anywhere. This of course has led my parents to think that I somehow "scare people" away. What else? well it seems like everything I touch turns to ash. I have spoken to my doctor who put me on some pills (anti depressants) anyway, she told my parents to go easy on me. But this of course made it worse cause my mother yells at me that I am not "strong" enough to cope with reality and that she must be cursed with having such a bad daughter. Really I am at the end thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry for taking so long as well.
thanks
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I strongly recommend that you seek out a compassionate, good counselor to talk to about your lack of self-esteem issues and anything else. It seems like you woudl benefit by talking and working with someone who would be on your side in life. It sounds like your parents, especially mother, have blocked your natural development and belief in yourself. Of course, I can't tell just from the little you said, but anyway, a good counselor could help you sort it all out and mentor you to begin to believe in your self. Getting engaged and married right now would probably not be a good idea. You probably need to develop your self-esteem and belief in yourself before you take on the gigantic step of marriage and a family. You can overcome your feelings of inadequacy. Be patient with your self and give it some time. Do things that empower you and make you feel good about yourself. What do you like? What do you want to do in your life? Develop your self. Think about it for your self...not according to what your parents want for you but for what you want in life. Let us know how you are doing. GTKK