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Summary of Question:	Why My Indian Sikh Boyfriend Can't Marry Me.
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/14/2007 6:13 AM MDT

I had a boyfriend for 5 years, he is an indian man,he is my first boyfriend. He is doing bussiness here in country. We love each other so much, last november, he went home. I know that his family already found his match, but he told me he will try to tell his family about me, about the possibility that he will marry me. Unfortunately, his family don't want to understand about his situation. He is crying when he called that he is set to marry this month. I was devastated, he said he can't do anything. Now, i would like to know, if he will not follow his parents, what will happen to him? Is there no chance that a sihk man can marry a woman which is non-indian? I am willing to be converted as a sikh, just for him to marry me but there is no more chance... I am crying everynight with this sad love story. I pursued this relationship because i thought love is a country without boundaries... He told me, i will always be in his heart. How could that be? Marrying someone you don't love. Why the parents deprive the happiness of their son? My heart will die after he will marry this march. Is there really no chance for a sihk man to marry a non-sihk? Thank you for the time reading this. I am wating for your reply. God bless you.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I am just now seeing your message, and according to the date, the marriage has already taken place. I am so sorry. What you are dealing with is a deeply ingrained pattern that is both cultural and religious in origin. Arranged marriages are still the norm in India, and despite his proclaimed "love" for you, this man feels/felt obligated to obey his parents even as far as marrying the woman they choose for him. I suggest you read many of the links on this SikhNet website, and research about Marriage to learn more about all of this. Meanwhile, please know that everything that happens is God's will, with God's grace you will heal from the wounds of this experience and soon meet someone with whom you will be able to share a happy married life. Blessings with love, SP