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Summary of Question:	About Lavan And Parents Standing In Ardaas
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 12/17/2001 8:46 AM MST

Hi I just wanna ask u that why do the girls and boys parents stand in the ardaas not others and what is the main perpose of doing it. Cann't the marrage take place if someone's parents don't stand.

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REPLY
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Dear One:
Sat Siri Akaal. When the wedding ceremony is about to occur in a Sikh Gurdwara, then the ardaas of the WEDDING is FOR the couple to be married. Family members stand in ardas as support to the ones that they are giving to Guru. Since for any ardas, people stand, then in a wedding, the practice is that only those directly involved with the wedding stand. If a person getting married doesn't connect with his/her parents, I've seen it that close, older friends or even cousins or compatriots stand in and 'act' as mother or father, placing the wedding shawl, etc.

HOWEVER, if someone's parents cannot stand due to a physical ailment, then there are a couple of options. 1) several people can help the person up and support him/her on their arms, or 2) a chair can be readied so that the person can be lifted from the floor to a chair for the ardas, and then back after ardas. Best is #1. I've seen it done myself, and it was quite moving to see how people rose to help the father (in this case) stand for his son's wedding ardas.

Guru rakha,
-DKK