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|Summary of Question:||Amritdhari Sikh Broke All Rahet Maryada|
|Date Posted:||Monday, 10/26/2009 3:19 AM MDT|
Wahegurji Ki Fateh
I am a amritdhari man staying and working in uganda since 1996, Born and brought up in mumbai. I became culprit by doing wrong pratices having adultry, drinking alcohol and eating meat I broke all my rahet maryada. This year I got a accident with my family on motorcycle and I operated in my left leg. These days I am trying to do nitnem. My sister said do confession and take amrit back and I want to do so. But how it can be possible for me to repent? Please help me out from all these sins which I have commited.
Wahegurji ka khalsa
Wahegurji ki fateh
There is hope :o)....
Do you know what word 'SIN' means? It means deviation from your pure true self, nothing else. Why do we deviate from our own purity? To experience the other side of things to learn something.
Who do we really confess to but our own selves? The only one we really face in this life is the Guru within, our own consciousness. It helps to go to Gurdwara connect to the energy of the Guru and confess even if it is only in your own mind but building a strong and solid way out of this pain is even better.
I think that what you are doing already is walking your way back. Imagine your pure soul in the middle of all these thin layers of gray energy sort of like thin layers of an onion. It may work better if you imagine tons of heavy blankets covering you and not letting you get off the ground. By reading your Banis, mediation, attending Gurdwara, keeping your vows now even if you have broken them in the past will start lifting all those layers off of you little by little.
My suggestion is this, and see if this resonates with you.
Keep doing what you are doing, develop a strong spiritual practice for a very long time without rushing to take Amrit. Be that person you think is an Amritdhari Sikh for some time before reaffirming your commitment by going through the ceremony. Keep taking the layers off your soul and cleansing ...just like washing the marble floors of the Golden Temple every day. Wait until the feeling in your heart transforms from guilt and regret and comes to complete devotion. Wait until the moment when taking Amrit will become as important as taking the next breath.
You can always take Amrit any time and no one can deny you that opportunity, but taking it at the right moment in your process may prove to be the biggest blessing of your life.
My belief is, and I hope you can see where I am at, though it may differ from what you feel, is that taking Amrit is a celebration of your love for the Guru and ritual of honoring yourself and your spiritual path. It is a tremendous blessing and a powerful push into a positive direction in your life but can not quite be used to substitute all the efforts you have to put into developing your own self and working to reaching deeper into your own true essence. It is a great thing to do in conjunction with a strong spiritual practice.
In other words I would suggest waiting until it really calls you.
Another suggestion that comes to mind is, while developing a stronger spiritual practice, to try and turn all your so called sins into your personal wisdom.
There are lots of things you have done and now may be the time to really evaluate them, see what they taught you and how you can apply all of this in a positive way in your life.
You may chose to be a teacher for younger generation. If you really go deep and analyze all that happen and share your own experience of pain and realization with others they will have a chance not to make the same mistakes. True wisdom comes from experience not from book knowledge. Telling people what not to do does not work anymore. Everyone wants to know why not to do it. You will be able to answer those questions for them like no one else can. It is a great way to serve humanity.
It would probably be a very peaceful life to live if we never made mistakes and it would spare lots of pain to those around us but not all of us are blessed with that kind of karma. A lot of us need to learn to transform our sins into blessings.