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Summary of Question:	Upset & Confused
Category:	Gurbani
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 11/23/2005 8:53 PM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

I would like to thank all the moderators for doing a wonderful job by helping out those in trouble.
I would sincerely appreciate if you could help me out in my problem.

I am a Asian lady got married to a Asian man who was settled in New Zealand. For the first few years life was wonderful, we had a beautiful child (now aged 9 years old).A few years later there were always some ups and downs (arguments) but was still managing the married live. After about 10 and half years of marriage my husband passed away due to some chronic disease, that was 2 years ago.

Being all alone with my child in NZ a year later I decided to come back to Asia to live with my mum. Back here, people around keep saying nasty things that really hurts me. I have also changed jobs twice. I am still attached to the second job. I am every now and then feeling very upset, down & emotional, and as well not happy with my job, colleagues and superior are unhappy with me, I am feeling like changing job again, I am wondering why all these has to happen to me, job difficulty, being a widow at such a young age. My child is also unhappy about the local school over here, studying in different language is much difficult though, is able catch up to some extent.

Please give me some PAATH to recite which will help me to make the right decision, which will show me the correct path in life.

At this very moment I am undecided whether to continue staying in Asia or go back to NZ since I still have my own house. I also wonder is there another marriage for me and will it a happy one.

I was also very happy with my job over there, my colleagues and friends over in NZ too were very supportive. My ex-employer in NZ is willing to get me back my last job. Education in NZ is also very much better for my child.

Please give me some advice and a Paath to recite.
Thank you

---reply

I am a grief counselor. One rule we tell people is to not make any major life-changes after the death of a close relative. It sounds like you answered your own question. Your life in NZ was good. Why change? After a close loss, it is important to keep things consistant and familiar for a while...maybe 2 years. As far a a path...which ones do you already relate to...Japji, JapSahib, the shabd Dhan Dhan...chanting to Guru Ram Das. Choose something you like and chant it with devotion and the intention of healing and clarity. let us know how you are doing. GTKK