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Summary of Question:	Mom &Me & My Inner Voice!
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Sunday, 8/26/2001 5:34 AM MDT

Dear moderatorji,

From many days i am very troubled....i hv been tryin to find an answer
to a question but havent been successful..maybe u can help me out..........day and night my mother keeps pointing out to me sardarni ladies around us
who do threading,waxing...some even cut their hair...she keeps saying things
like "beta,be practical!","beta,what our gurus said was for people
living hundreds of years beck!we cannot apply those rules to our lives
now!","go with the world....you should wax and do threading like evryone
else does!".....my reply always being"mummy,just because most of the other
sardarnis are doing something wrong doesnt mean that even we hv to follow
them"...things normally end up in an arguement or a debate and both of us
are stuck to our ideas......i dont like arguing !altough somehow i escape
from my mom there is that little voice inside me saying..."hello,just look
at those ugly-hairy arms and legs of yours ....how bad they look....what
will everyone think abt u?u cant go abt telling everyone that 'i am a sikh
and in sikhism waxing is not allowed!' "then i look at my self and
say...ya!they do look ugly but then....i cant do that!
i can handle my mom(somehow!but not without fighting)but its not easy to
totally disagree with that small voice....i normally dont care abt my looks
but with all these pressures around me i cant help but care!
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease help me.....i hv told my mom threading is something i
will never do but waxing!i dont know what to tell her......as the years pass
the hair will grow more...then what would i do?
help!

----reply

Sat Nam. I admire your courage. If you feel within you that these things are not right for you, then listen to yourself. If you want to live as a GurSikh, do so. There are scientific reasons we don't get rid of our hairs. They serve a purpose. Hairs conduce the energy around our body...God gave us our hairs for a reason. Do you think God made a mistake? Live as God created you and be proud. You may try saying to your Mataji, "Do you want me to respect you in your opinions and decisions?" She will probably say "Yes." You can then say, "I am only asking you that you respect me in my opinions and decisions. We don't have to agree. We can, infact, agree to disagree, and we can also agree to respect each other and allow a difference of opinion and practice."
May Guru guide you always. GTKK