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Summary of Question:	Please Please Please Help!
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 8/31/2004 7:34 PM MDT

I need some guidance... some directions.. perhaps some answers. I have poste in the past but haven't received any response... but I really need some advice. This whole love and true love business has really gotten me. I am 26 years of age, seem to be nothing but falling when it comes to this aspect of my life. Everytime, I feel that things in my life ( relationship) wise are finally falling into place... some strange things happen and thats the end of everything. I know Guru ji is the one who controls those we meet and depart from.. But i am lossing hope. I have had a strong gut feeling that my Guru has forgotten all about me... and all he has left for me is to put forth me those who are confused, lost and never really expirienced love. I feel very estranged and departed sometimes even angry as why some of the things that are happening in my life. I have no way of understanding them... and feel like I am at the tail end of rope. I have placed my hopes in god.. and accepted what he has put before me... but all that seems to bring is just dissappointment, more heart breat.. and guys who say 'Don't wait around for me.' I am very tired.. very frustrated... very hurt! Please advise.

I hope someone answers to this posting!
Thanks

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

When the pain of not finding your mate or your love is there, it is very very difficult. Love is the reason for being alive and for women, especially, we express that purpose through our relationships with our mate, through our home and our children. So when that love doesn't seem to be working - the questions come. Why am I even here? Where's the man I'm supposed to be with?

So Guru gave us a Shabd that we can meditate upon to pray for our true love to come to us. Here is the Shabd:

To Find Your Soul Mate
Mangal Saaj Bhaiaa
Recorded by Sat Kartar Kaur: in the SikhNet Gurbani Archive
Read Shabad Sheet:
http://sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_1059.html

You have to understand that the path of love and the path of romance are not the same path. True love is a very deep, very subtle experience where you are willing to sacrifice yourself for your Beloved. And before you can really experience that type of love with another human being, you first need to feel that love inside yourself for the Creator. If you are angry with God - guess what? You're going to be angry with men. But if within your own soul, you allow yourself to become the lover of God, then you will be able to love a man truly.

Loving a man is not about expecting anything from him or desiring anything from him. True love, believe it or not, is actually desireless. It is fearless. It is vengeless. You don't need anything from a man because thorugh your relationship with your own spirit, you find everything you need within yourself. So when you come from a physical longing, or a fantasy expectation - actually you are destroying love, not creating it. These relationships you have had in the past may have been based on desire. But that is not love. It's a puzzle - if love isn't desire, then what is it?

Meditate on the Gurbani and pray to find the answer to that question. Prayer is a very powerful thing and the power of a woman to project her prayer is 16 times greater than that of a man. They're physically stronger. We have more dynamo in our prayers. So just pray that God shows you what real love is, what the difference between love and desire is. And if you pray that prayer sincerely, the Creator will show you. But you have to be willing to put your fantasies and expectations aside in order to walk the path of Love. You have to sacrifice your insecurities, anger and desire on the altar of your higher self. Then love can come into your life - through your own Spirit and the Spirit of others. This will bring you the satisfaction you are searching for.

May you be blessed to live in your own dignity, divinity, radiance and grace as a divine and noble woman and may love come to you infinitely and never depart.

All love in the Divine,

GPK