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Summary of Question:	Parnents Harassment
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 5/04/2003 2:47 PM MDT

Basically, I was beaten up alot by my dad, when i was a kid. The verbal abuses have continued as well. Basically, I was wondering if I can just stop calling him my father. I dont' think he should be called that anymore, I have stopped talking with him, even though I am 18. I am in 2 year of College, once I graduate, I am moving across the country. My question was it okay, if just stop talking with my parents? I think I dont' need them anymore, and I am tired of the abuse?

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I guess you need to look at the consequences of such an action. Does your father support you financially in any way? Can you make it through college without his financial support? If he is supporting you financially he owes that much to you, so don't burn your bridges too soon. I know this sounds manipulative and dishonest, but hey, he owes you anything you can get. He is your father and that much he can give you. Get your education and then you can "be out of there." For the mean time, just tune him out. Don't be rude back, but just don't put yourself in his presence and abuse. When it does happen, leave the room or house. Actually, I wouldn't make any "announcements." Just tune him out and ignore him as best you can. When the time comes, go on with your life. It's a good practice in compassion to be civil to him, avoid rudeness, but don't put yourself in any environment to be abused by him. Maybe his abuse will help you in some way deal with others. But, never ever allow someone to abuse you. Never be abusive back, because then you are falling to their level and repeating the pattern. Once you repeat the pattern, it becomes a habit, like it is for him. You never want to treat anyone, especailly your children or spouse like you have been treated. Be grateful you are not him. He must have been abused himself. He must be unhappy. Be compassionate, but don't allow the abuse either. May Guru guide you. GTKK