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Summary of Question:	What Did Gurus Say About This?Please Answer !
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 2/04/2002 9:40 AM MST

waheguru ji Ka khalsa

waheguru ji Ki fateh
I was searching on the sikh youth forum with keyword "marriage" and in some reply from modrators They said that before marriage a guy should consider girl as a sister ,daughter or mom and vice versa for girls.
so thats wrong for a guy to fall in love with a girl?
If this is so then so many punjabi songs sung and made everyday or the bhangra all we do and all of us enjoy doing this is all about on love of a guy with a girl.I am really confused ,so does that mean we should not sing love songs dont do bhangra, dont love any girl.
so that mean the love of heer ranjha,sohni mahiwal is wrong i mean that we shouldn't love?Did our gurus ever told us that a guy should consider a girl as sister,mom or daughter?please answer as soon as possible
thanks

Meet Singh

REPLY:
Firstly, please don't be too caught up is right and wrong, good and bad. It will lead you into trying to judge things that are really just the way God has made them.
Guru ji certainly says that these things are a waste of time, all part of the facinating Maya. But Guru ji also tells us that it is a waste of time to pretend that you are something you are not. Guru often reffers to those yogis who sit in a cave and pretend to meditate but are really being consumed by maya. Meditation on God is fruitful when your heart is in it
This is one reason Guru ji gave us the life of householders. It is ballanced as a human being to be attracted to the opposite sex. This is natural. Guru ji has given us a way to live gracefully with this reality.
If you trust that God will provide for you then you will not feel the need to chase after Maya, including girls. If you truly fall in love with a girl you should either commit to her for life or act with respect toward her as your sister until you can make that commitment.
Yes, Guru's teachings show that all of these songs and stories about wordly love will not get us any closer to our destination, or to God's door. But don't let that upset you. It is still ok to have a good time, Guru ji just tells us to maintain and contain ourselves. This doesn't mean that you have to stop dancing, singing, and enjoying music. Just be concious of your actions, be graceful and enjoy life and God's many creations.
GSKK