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Summary of Question:	Depressed Due To Relationship Breakdown
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 2/20/2008 4:41 AM MST

Hi,

I am a 22 year old Sikh girl. Got into a realtionship with a boy at University. He is really nice and understanding. We broke up because I din't make enough effort. Ever since (3 months ago) I have suffered from depression. We have been in contact but I sent him a poem stating how I felt and how I learned from my mistakes, he has ignored me. I really need one chance. I do path everyday. I listen to Chaupai, Rehras, Sukhmani Sahib, Kirtan Sohila and do mool manter 108 times. I pray to Waheguru to give me a one last chance with this boy, even if its just short-term to prove I've changed. He is affecting my appetite, my sleep, my uni work. I have become obsessed and think I will be until I get my chance. I have been seeing a counsellor but nothing is working. I don't know what to do! Will any prayers help fulfill my desires for this chance and love or is it immoral to ask for someone to love you once again. I was so angry that I sent him hurtful texts today and yesterday and I don't want him to ever be happy again which I know are bad thoughts. I don't pray for anything bad to happen to him but deep down wish he would lose his job and everything go wrong in his life, but I'd love for us to work it out and be happy. I've made so many positive changes that seem wasted.

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Your desire for love is not going to be satisfied by any boy. Let him go.

First you must love yourself. Otherwise you cannot love anyone, and no one can love you.

How do you love yourself? You must see yourself through the Guru's eyes.

Your mind is running in circles. It does not matter how much paath you do every day if you cannot control your own mind. When the water is muddy, you cannot see anything clearly. The water must become still for the mud to settle to the bottom. You can only find clarity in that state of shunia within yourself. You will not find it anywhere else. Especially not in another person.

The key to controlling the mind is controlling the breath. You must learn how to meditate. If you don't know how to meditate, start here:

http://www.mrsikhnet.com/index.php/2006/01/16/kirtan-kriya-meditation/

In the Name of the Guru, the Light of every Sikh, and the Holy Naam which holds the world.

.....G