Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Utter Confusion
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 5/24/2003 11:07 PM MDT

I am 23 about 10 months ago met a sikh guy who is 27. We started of as friends, one day he told me that he is married and going through hard time because his marriage didn't work out. He is in Canada on work permit and his wife is in India. He filed for divorce over a year ago but nothing has happened till now, as typical indian court case proceeding. I feel that i am in love with him but i am very confused. He has a past which my parent and society may not accept. To me his past has no concern but i am afraid to tell my parents about him. I am also afraid of losing him and so do he. I go to gurdwara and do the paath everyday and ask the All Mighty to help me and to show me the way, most of the times i get a image of him & me together but sometimes i get negative thoughts. My parents are looking for a match for me i don't have much time and he doesnt know how long his court case will take. Please help me with my confusion.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It is so sad to me when I read that you are afraid to tell your parents! You haven't given any details about WHY he has filed for divorce. It could be that your parents would be willing to help in this situatioin. What sort of man is he? What is his profession? MEanwhile, being "in love" is always questionable, because it usually is just emotional, and is not founded in the values that can make for a lasting happy marriage. Since he has filed for divorce, I would think that you need to tell your parents before they proceed further in getting some other match for you, and see what happens. Sooner or later you're going to have to confide in them, and sooner is better than later. You should ask them to meet this boy, and he should present himself and give them his history and his intentions so that they will be able to judge him as a person, not just a "nearly divorced" man. I wish you well. blessings, SP