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Summary of Question:	Fallen For A Girl
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/07/2008 1:06 PM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

Dear SYF,
I am a 19 year old Sikh male (Punjabi) studying at college in the UK. I do patth everyday and strongly believe in god. I try to be a good human and follow the teachings of guru Nanak as well as I can. However, I have this problem which is really bringing me down. Basically there is this girl in one of my lessons who I cannot get out of my mind. I have spoken to her a few times at college and even saw her at the gurdawara once doing sevva. She is a kind person and as far as I know you she also believes in Waheguru and you could say that she is a good girl and a good Sikh. At first I perhaps only liked her because she is very pretty, but the more I found out about her I realised that she is the type of women I want to marry one day. I believe that she is perfect for me and I would do anything to make her happy. I prayed to god to give me the opportunity to talk to her and get to know her better, and he has given a lot of chances to have a conversation with her but when I’m around her I get nervous and don’t do anything. I don’t know if we are meant to be together or not, only god can know this, but she is constantly on my mind and when I think that she isn’t with me I get a little depressed and upset. Even if we're not meant for each other I would love for us to be friends as I believe that she is a nice person worth knowing. I feel like I’m stuck on her and I don’t know what I should do? Is it right to pray to god for me to be with her? Is there a special patth I should do? I think that this isn’t just a sexual desire for her, I truly belie that I can love her for the rest of my life and together will live a good Sikh way of life. Any suggestions on what I can do are welcomed.

Thank you in advance,

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

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As you are both going to the same Gurdwara, I would try to find ways of doing things where she is present, like volunteering to do seva where she is. I don't think there is anything wrong with ask the Guru to help you get to know her in a graceful way. As you want it to be a graceful situation, maybe you could find out someone who knows her to introduce you and get to know her as a friend first. Go slow and build a friendship. Then, if the time comes, talk to her about how you feel and see how she feels...then it may be time to call in a family member, etc. The key here is to go slow and build the relationship carefully and gracefully. Blessings, JJK