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Summary of Question:	Shouldnt This Be A Happy Time?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/22/2005 10:15 AM MDT

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa,

I am sorry if this question has been asked before but i have a really serious issue and question.
Just last week, my fiance and I decided to tell our families about our relationship, he is a sikh and from the exact same family background as i am and everyone is very very happy.....my problem is that the amount of happiness that i got when he asked me to marry him adn we decided to tell everyone and set forth the plans..ever since then..there have been arguments in my family.....
Arguments are about the people within the family not the 2 that are getting married....you know its all about ego for everyone here....Everyone wants recognition but noone has done anything..I have a step father(my father passed away when i was younger) whom i am not at all close with..i do respect him because i have to but i have not real relationship with him and from a very young age i've had problems with him..very serious problems...however as i got older and even right now i am tryin my best to be strong and respect him but he is causing many problems and all i do is cry...
I thought that by telling the families and getting our marriage adn engagment on the way, this would be the happiest and most auspicious time in our lives..but i tend to be crying and depressed more then anything..
Can you pleaes please please tell me what paath to do and for what amount of time to do it to bring peace to my soul and for my fiance...and our futures...i am so stressed out and i feel like every part of my soul that had strength is just falling apart..i have alot of problems and issues that are just taking effect and i dont want to break down during the best time of my life....I want this marriage and engagement to be started off with the blesings and grace of waheguru and by his strength..could you please tell me what types of paath or for how long i can do somethign that will clear my mind, clear the madness and anxiety that i am having and will allow me to be strong and enter a marriage with my fiance that will be about us and more importantly about akal purakh and not about the stress, the ego's the problems of a family and their ego's and what they want and vice versa..
I feel so lost and more then any other time, i feel like i have nothing and noone..everyday is a new problem and i know in my mind i need waheguru's grace, his strength more then anyone else's and i need you to share with me what types of shabads or what types of paath i should be doing to bring some peace to my mind and to give me strength, i will do it for any time any place and any condition just so that i can have this strength and have god's blessings, because at this point in time..that is all i want or need...everyone else has really dissapointed me and hurt me at a time when i thought everyone would be happy they are thinking of themselves and selflisly doing everything.....
Please help me....
Thank you...

---reply

Silly girl, you are giving up your power and happiness to a man you don't even like or respect. He doesn't deserve it. Put your focus in your fiance and the plans of your life together. Do a Sahej Path together. Give yourselves to the Guru. The only thing that matters is you and your finance. Even if the wedding isn't exactly the way you would want it, it's OK. And, this is probably not the happiest time of your life. When you get married and are together and start a life together...then, you can be really one with God...that is happiness. Just think this time as a test of your faith and strength in God and Guru...which will be good practice for your marriage. All kinds of things will happen then too. Life is not easy, but how we respond to the events is up to us. Cement your self with the Guru now and then nothing can bother you. Blessings. GTKK