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Summary of Question:	Feel Lost About My Life.
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 12/23/2003 9:59 AM MST

I have a problem. I am a 23 yr old living in the states. I have recently graduated from college and am having trouble finding a job. I worked very hard in my undergraduate life to get experience and trust me my resume is better than an average students'. I feel very depressed and discouraged about how things are going. On top of this I chose to do something that my parents would not have approved of (I chose not to go into the medical field). I have no regrets about what career path I have chosen but I feel my hard work has come to no fruition. If I dont find a job soon I dont know what will happen. I have gone to the gurdaward and prayed and the first things I do every morning is pray that I find a job.

Another problem is that I have been unable to let go of my past relationship. I have been single for about 3 years now and have not been able to get over my X-bf who i was in love with. It is very painful at times if there are things or occassions that remind me of him. On top of that he was the one who said that he had not as strong feelings for me as I did for him. I do want to meet someone and get married eventually but I feel really depressed sometimes about not letting go and I feel that this will haunt me for the rest of my life even when or if I eventually get married. And I am also scared that I will not meet anyone and will die alone.

I dunno what to do..and I dont want the answer that "PRAYING WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING" ...otherwise I would have a job, a husband, and the respect of my parents by now.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I hope you will find a job soon. Try to realize that thousands of people, including college graduates are having trouble finding jobs now. This is not an easy time. Worrying about finding a husband, or worrying about not being able to get over that former relationship is a waste of your time and energy. Worrying is praying for something you DON'T want! At this point in your life, if you have free time, see where you can volunteer in some charitable organization. Of course, keep job-hunting, and pray for guidance in that matter. Meanwhile, see what you can do to help other people. There are plenty who are in worse conditions than you. I'm sure a job, a husband and the respect of your family may be desirable, but they are not the purpose of life! The purpose of life is to connect with your soul, to discover that you are just here on Earth temporarily, and that God lives and breathes in you. In addition to asking for what you want, how about doing seva at the Gurdwara? How about thanking God for your good health, and whatever other blessings you have in your life (and you do have them!) If you just mope around feeling sorry for yourself, you are not showing respect for the God who lives and breathes in you, and you are not presenting yourself in such as way that would bring your parents and others to respect you. (BTW, many women get married and are miserable in the marriage. Getting married just for the sake of being married is not the solution for happiness.) "It's not the life that matters, it's the courage that you bring to it." SP