Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Mental Peace
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 12/15/2005 4:17 PM MST

Sat Siri Akal: First of all I want to thankyou for the good job you are doing for the youths and other people like me.

I am from Delhi, and my in-laws are here in California.Ibeen married 20 years now. Eversince I have been married I lost my mental peace. My husband is very very nice man on the earth. Hard to find a man like him. Problem is his family. No matter How I tried, how hard I tried it is never enough. I came from the family where I and my father had very open relationships. I was never afraid of him. He is just nice and gentle loving father anybody can have. but here my father-in-law always put me down emotionaly. He always think that I am stupid person alive on the earth so does my mother-in-law. They donot only put me down they even put their son down. my oldest child is 17years old. I don't want my children to think that their parents are stupid. They insult us infront of our children. I have four children, three girls and a boy. First always they were mad that I donot have a boy. Boy is younger of all. I been thru so much that I accept it all. I do PATH, I do Yoga so I can have peace in my life. We donot live with them.
20 years I had gone thru so much that it does not bother me any more but I have so much hate toward them, which I donot want. They are still my husband's parents and kids Grandparents. I don't want to burn my heart any more. I am trying very hard so I can have good relationship with them but again things come up and it reminds me every bit of everything. Is there any Path I can do so I can have peace. I want to forget and forgive everything for the sake of my children and my husband. Please help me how to handle this crisis. I want to think of our GURU instead of them all the time. HELP ME PLEASE.

----reply

It is a blessing that you do not live with them. I suggest that you recite Sukhmani Sahib every day. That will bring peace better than anything else. I would also sit down and neutrally discuss with your children how they feel about the "put downs" from your in-laws on you and your husband. If you have raised your children to be kind in their words and actions, this may bother them. It may be healing to discuss it, without putting down your in-laws. You can say that this is your in-law's way, but it is not your way and you would hope that it would not be your children's way either. Give them an opportunity to express themelves. Let me know how it goes. GTKK