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| Summary of Question: | Whos In The Wrong And Whos In The Right |
| Category: | Other |
| Date Posted: | Monday, 11/20/2006 3:44 PM MST |
well in simple version the problem is that i got invited to my friends 16th birthday party, she is an italian girl not punjabi and she is a good skool friend of mine, so i asked my mum if i could go to this party, there was going to be no alcohol or anything obvioulsy we are underage and her parents were supervising the party, it was just going to be a fun get together dress up party, my mum said ask dad, but then she said no herself before i even asked him, then they both gave me a big lecture on like how im growing older now and i should not be going to thses parties anymore, what will the punjabi community say, that oh my daughter goes of wandering around at parites. the qs is like my other punjabi friends were aloud to go didnt there parents stop for 1 minute and think about that, my parents tell me that they are doing this for my benefit, wouldnt my friends parents think that to then. the thing that is stressin me out is that i am really angry and havent talked to my parents since 2 days now, thats becuase im disgusted and angry at them i dnt knw wat to do.
what made me really angry was that they took this situation so far into the future, saying that how am i suppose to send you to university with this kind of attitude, how do i know u will not be wondering off to parites, they even said that they will not send me to uni and get me married as soon as i finish my high skool studies , i mean how could thy even say tht wen they knw very well, tht i am a very good student and achieve high marks all the time, my parents know tht i want to be a doctor and i will get there. how could they jump to conclusions without even considering that i am a teenager and this is just my attitude beacuse we live outside of india and obvioulsy we have to fit in, i was born in new zealand and we have different views about things, if they want to keep/raise us like this then y dont they take us back to india.
there is many things i could go on about.
but i just need your help please on how i should handle this situation, and whos in the right, is it just me and my attitude that is making a big deal i dnt know im confused. i do jaap ji sahib and rahras sahib everyday but still i dont feel calm. so could you please urgently help me.
wjk wjf
(REPLY) Sat Nam. Actually, it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. You are 16, and your parents have the say in where you go and where you don't go. It doesn't matter if they are unreasonable or not! Let it drop. If you are smart, and want things to go smoothly for you, then you have to accept their decision, stop the silent treatment, and demonstrate the maturity to be graceful instead of resentful. They may be wrong, but they mean well. It's good that you are reciting two of the banis, try adding Jaap Sahib and Kirtan Sohila. And take five minutes in the early morning, or just before bed to sit quietly and breathing consciously, long and deep through your nose, think SAT as you inhale, and NAM as you exhale. You have a long life ahead of you, this time will pass. I will tell you a great secret: try silently blessing them for their kindess and understanding. Make it a positive affirmation: "God bless my parents for their ________________ (fill in whatever qualities you want them to have!). And see what happens. Being angry and resentful only brings negative reaction, it adds fuel to the fire. Have patience, patience pays! Blessings and best wishes, SP
Whos In The Wrong And Whos In The Right (11/20/2006)