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Summary of Question:	Suicide
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 10/03/2005 2:42 AM MDT

I now live in India in Amritsar, but i used to live for almost my whole life in the USA. I attend Sri Guru Ram Dam Institute of Medical Sciences and Reseach since i wanna be a doctor and complete the MBBS degree and come back to US or UK. The thing is that i am soooooo depressed. I miss my family, proper food, and mostly proper people. In this country so many people are soo chalaak (clever or cunninng), selfish and etc. I just can't stand it.

i hate the food in the mess even though it's probably better most medical colleges in punjab, (i even passed out because of lack of nutrients even though i do eat regularly).
I miss my family soo much. i know that the other girls here are far from their families as well but my family isn't even on the same continent.
I especially miss going to the Gurduara back in NY. I used to really have a great time listening to Kirtan and doing Paath with the Sangat but that kind of happiness is not here in this place. I actually started to get feelings of committing suicide--not like the dramatic kinds of jumping outta windows, i just wish i could go to sleep and never have to wake up again. I am Amritdhaari and should not even let this thought enter my mind. Please help me. I feel so lonely. I do Ardaas constantly.
Everything is taking a toll on me here.
Fateh to all.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I am so sorry that you are feeling so depressed. I believe that medical school anywhere is very intense and exhausting, but I am wondering since you are in Amritsar whether you have gone to the Golden Temple and dipped in the healing waters there? People from all over the world go to Harimandir Sahib to be healed! (aND EAT LANGAR!) Do you know about the school in Amritsar, called Miri Piri Academy, where there are Sikhs of American birth (and European) and I hope you can visit there, and perhaps speak to one of the counselors. Depression, as you should know, can be a medical condition, as well as just brought on by lonliness. I send you my heartfelt prayers and wishes that you will find a way to overcome your present circumstances. I believe you need professional counseling to determine exactly what your physical condition is as well. Isn't there a counselor at your school? The students at Miri Piri Academy do seva at the Golden Temple regularly, and perhaps you could join them. Keep in mind that you will not be in medical school forever -- this is a temporary situation, and please keep focused on your goal of becoming a doctor. Or, are you sure that is the right profession for you? Because it requires a lot of stamina. Do your parents know how you are feeling? Probably not, because you don't want to worry them, but I am concerned about you,and I want to make sure that you get some help, so please let us know what you are going to do to overcome your current state. The Gurus gave us the banis to help us as human beings cope with the challenges of daily life. The bani to bring happiness is Anand Sahib, so I hope you are reciting it every day. (Along with Japji, of course, first thing in the morning, to connect you with your soul! and Jaap Sahib to give you self confidence, and remind you as a Kaur, you are a royal daughter of the Tenth King!) Whenever you catch yourself feeling lonely, just take a few long deep breaths, and feel God's presence in you. ANG SANG WAHE GURU --You are never alone -- And that's a fact! May God bless you and Guru protect and guide you through this dificult time. With all love in Divine, SP