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Summary of Question:	Re: Need Some Advice/Counsel Please
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 2/06/2006 9:07 PM MST

Hello,

Thanks a lot to everyone who replied to my posts. They've really helped.

I feel that the reason I was kind of blaming God was because we all look up to Him and expect it to be our birthright to be protected by Him. Its kind of like when we're small and childishly blame others/parents for our faults. I was, still am, terribly hurt and thus feel it was natural for me to go through all this soul-searching with Him, as I feel He is closest to me. I am not trying to justify my feelings/emotions, just saying that I thought that that (God punishing me) was the case for my heartbreak.

I still do question Him in my prayers at night, still have doubts of uncertainty/anger/despair/resignation. But I am coping with it - coming back to normal again. It will take some time, but I know I'll be my old self again one day.

One good thing that has come out of all this - I have stopped asking God for things at the end of my prayers. Earlier, at the end of each paath or jaap i would have a looong list of things i wanted from God. But now, though I still do my paaths and jaap regularly, I dont ask Him for anything. I know He will do what seems best, and my constant asking for things etc. is not only futile but also not warranted. He will do what He has to.

I have a big interview tomorrow and earlier I would have done lots of paath and asked Him, rather made Him promise (like I could do that! :) )to give me the outcome I wanted. Today I am not asking Him for anything. And it feels kind of good - leaving it all up to Him.

I saw this bumper sticker once back home in India - "Just Pray. God Knows The Details."

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Congratulations! You are starting to understand that God gives us life and breath and opportunities -- and we make choices! Our best prayer is to thank God for this life, and ask for the wisdom and courage to make the best choices. God bless you! SP