Congrads on your engagement. About your fiance, i think the moderator made an excellent point that if she is 'materialistic' then you may want to think twice about this. BUT if she is like most girls..who dream and dream and dream about their marriage, plan things, want things certain way and fulfill those desires, then she may not be materialistic. You may want to sit down have a 1-on-1 with her, explaining to her that you can try your best to fulfill all her dreams and desires as circumstances permit. At the moment, you both are students, financially things aren't like how you need them. Tell her that her list of things (as it grows) makes you feel bad and its not her fault. Its the situation. I think its worth a shot to sit with her, explain to her that material things will come in later once you both are employed respectively. In the mean time, tell her what you can offer her and allow her some time to think if what you're offering is enough for her. If she can't handle that, she should simply let you know. Ofcourse, i think breaking an engagement is a huge deal (not taking into consideration the gossip your community would spread). I think if you let her know that she should decrease some expectations or build expectations suitable to the circumstances, that way you both wont be disappointed or hurt. I will give you my example. My hubby and I got married young too. He was in last yr of med school and i was a junior. He didn't have money of his own, he parents were well off. But like any man with pride, he didn't want to ask his parents for tons of cash to get me a ring. I did expect a nice ring. He got a job at night, and saved some money. It wasn't a huge ring, 1 carat, but the fact that it was HIS money and not HIS parents money made me love the ring more then anything!!!! Since we've been married, he's always looking for reasons to buy me jewelry and i had to let him know that I am not materialistic. I love him the way he is, the way he makes me feel. Things i wanted before marriege or at marriage was just part of a dream i had dreamt of ever since i was a little girl. I hope this all helps a little. Good Luck...oh ya remember no fighting!! Open communications can take a relationship a long way.
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Re: What Should I Do? (07/11/2004)