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Summary of Question:	How Can I Respond To Being Embarrased
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Saturday, 2/28/2004 7:58 PM MST

hi...please advise me.....im really hurt and dont know how to reply with dignity and dont know if even should reply back......well bascially had an ad for marriage and then met this guy after my parents officiated....this took place in another country and well when i met him he kind of made it appear he was really into me and well paretns and family had approved each other....then about two days later we met again (parents again initiated) and my parents were there.....seemed like they were really for it....well then there was slight problem with some family history on their side but then my parents were ok with it and things went good and then my parents met again and he wanted me to keep in contact with him and my parents gave him persmission and then we came back to states.....well after three weeks into it all after coming back home my parents asked for committment and settlement, even though my parents thought things were settled before leaving.....they wanted my pic again.....so it was sent ....and then no response for like 2+weeks so then asked to give decision and he emailed saying his family was in process of settling wiht someone else......so i feel at loss of words...i feel stupid cuz i thougth things were settled his side even asked to notify them a month before we would be back..i cant beleive in 3 weeks it was like this...so he was playing with my mind right and my family?....how should i respond back?....shoudl i even?...i've been to ignore his response and not even email back....i've been told to say stuff back that hey we thought we were settled.....i've been advised left and right...i want to be dignified yet i am angry by this yet also i want to leave my mark that hey i am not someone who just goes thru this kind of thing and i accept it...but i know i ahve to accept it....whats the proper way to respond back, shoudl i even?.....please advise me...and u got my email probably with this question u can email me for more info if u like i really need help, but dont post my email....im hurt by this alot cuz he had his whole family ok me and stuff and seemed so interested in me and my family...help me.....and how can i forget this?...thank u so much for being here.

REPLY

Thank you, lovely princess, for writing to Sikhnet. You must know you are a beautiful, divine princess and your life is blessed because you have been spared from a marriage with someone deceitful and a family that was not forthright with you or your parents. The Great Akal Purkh has blessed you and your family. You can heal from the hurt you feel by meditating on the Mul Mantra, the beginning of Japji Sahib, which gives you the power to create your highest destiny in the Will of God. Sit in the Gurdwara or in a quiet place and practice breathing long and deep. Begin reciting the Mul Mantra and continue for eleven minutes. Try to inhale for one complete recitation and exhale for one complete recitation. Your breath will naturally become longer as you continue the recitation. Reciting this mantra you will see within your own mind the positive mind, the negative mind, and the neutral mind. In your negative mind you have thoughts of pain and sadness, and in your positive mind you have thoughts of happiness and joy, and you see the benefits of a situation. In your neutral mind you weigh both sides, and this is where you have the power to hold your mind in check as the servant of your soul, not your master. You choose your own thoughts each moment of your life when you dwell in your neutral mind. When you realize this you will decide it is a complete waste of your time to dwell for a single moment longer on thoughts of sadness and hurt you feel from any person or situation. It is also a waste of your time and energy to lash back at this family. Let all of your thoughts and actions serve the highest good of all. Repeating the bad behavior of others will not help you or them. Meditate, forgive, go forward, and plan your future. Envision that God and Guru are guiding your life and you have been mercifully spared from a situation, and now envision all of your hopes and dreams are being fulfilled with God and Guru always protecting you and your family. Always know you are a divine princess of God. To be better prepared for important meetings in the future, you can practice another meditation from Japji Sahib.
Naanak bhagtaa sadaa vigaas
Suni-ai dookh paap kaa naas
This meditation helps give you the power to discern sincerity and truth and deceit in communication. Sat Nam. God bless you. -GMK