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Summary of Question:	My Boyfriend Is Black
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 2/02/2006 7:17 AM MST

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh. I am a sikh girl of the age of 22 and i have been going out with a black guy for about 5 years now and i am also living with him but my parents still don't know that i am seeing or living with him. They have met him, but just as my friend. I am deeply in love with him and don't know what i would do if he wasn't in my life. He makes me so happy and cares for me so much. We can see ourselves spending the rest of our lives with eachother.

i am scared to tell me parents about him, because i know what their reaction will be. i have talked to my mum about mixed marriages a number of times but it always ends up in an argument.
Just recently my mum talked to me about some marriage proposals. i told her that i wasn't ready to get married yet and that i wanted to be the one to find my future husband. my mum said that was fine but as long as the boy is sikh. at that point i wanted to tell her so much, but i just couldn't.
I feel so guilty sometimes with what i am doing, as i always have to lie to my parents and i love them so much. they have done so much for me.
Now that my parents have met him, i know that i can't leave it to long until i tell them about us. Please could you help me by giving me some advise on how i should go about telling them.
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh.

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reply
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Sat Siri Akaal. You know the truth, and it's been put on this forum so many times. (1) be honest with yourself and your family. (2) Recognize that your family may oppose you. (3) Decide for yourself if you are going to live your life for yourself or for your family. (4) insist on honesty from you boyfriend/his family.

Sikhi doesn't care what color you are.

Most important of these is being honest. Lies and falsehoods breed nothing but lies and falsehoods. So get it all out in the open. Other couples have overcome family opposition, but it takes firmness, courage, patience, and non-manipulative love. It takes both sides, not just you, not just your parents, accepting and agreeing.
Pray not for your way but for the highest truth in this situation. Good luck,
guru ang sang,
-DKK