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Summary of Question:	Need Some Guidance
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 12/11/2003 10:45 PM MST

SSA.

I am writing to get some advice I don’t know what to do I am turning to person that I never dreamed of. I am becoming a complete opposite of what I use to be. This all happened because if one major tragic even in my life. I just have lost all hope. I use to say path every night before I went to bed. Never wished bad upon anybody. But now all I have is bad and angry thought about some people. I don’t want to be this person, but I just can’t resolve these issues. I will forget them for a while but all those thoughts come back at some point of the day. I know I am babbling on sorry, but I will tell you what led to this event. I just recently broke of with my finance, and it was a bad brake up, big misjudgment on their part about me and my family. They even disrespected my parents because they thought we where bad people because my dad lots of girls. Also after the break up, we found out that he is spreading rumors abound me around town. We had some mutual relative; he even said stuff about me to them and turns them against me. And when one of the relatives came over to see me and saw that I was depressed, and barely holding on. She actually used all that was happening in our house to feed that guys family ego so they can feel better about themselves. I knew all along what was going on but never really said anything or confronted her. And now every time she her, I just get so angry that my own relative would do this and on top of that pretend like she is still cares for our family, even though say something else behind our back. I thought in time it might get better but it is getting worse. I have lost trust over everything for a while even from god, but I was listening to one of the lecture by baba ji, that kind of restored my faith in god little bit. But I just don’t know what I did to feel like this. I am afraid to get introduced to any other guy, I just don’t want to get married anymore. I am stuck in a rut, being the oldest out of five daughters; it just breaks my heart to see what I have out my dad through and still putting him through because I can’t get out of this mess. I just don’t know what to do should I tell that cousin that I know she is talking about me or should I just leave it up to god and he will take care of it. What should I do to get out this please guide me and show me some light? And give me strength to believe my self and other people again.
Thanks in advance for even reading this message.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. If you really want to get over this hurt and this bad situation, then you have to stop trying to fix anything, or confront anyone, or do anything except realize that you, yourself and only you have only one relationship that matters, and that is between you and your Guru. So, do your path, pray for guidance, and especially meditate in the early hours of the morning, before dawn, and focus on repeating God's Name, to clear your mind of resentment and anger and frustration. Everything that happens to us in life is an opportunity, a challenge to remember God in spite of all circumstances, and to develop patience, kindness and courage, no matter what anyone else may do. Human beings have faults and flaws, and so all you have to believe about anyone is that they are also a creature made by God, working out their karma, and their problems. Don't worry about getting married now, if it is meant to be, God will lead you in that direction. Give yourself some time to get over this emotional tangle that you're in. Like quicksand, the emotions can drag you under and smother your spirit. Use the Guru's bani as a life-line to pull you out, and set an example of a gracious, kind and strong Khalsa woman. Some people live their lives as warnings, some as examples. Let yours be one of setting an example of grace under fire! Other people may gossip, and even slander, but that is thir karma, don't fall into the trap of lowering yourself to other people's level. I hope this advice can translate into action for you, as it is truly is more than just philosophy, it will really change things, if you're willing to try it~! Blessings, SP