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Summary of Question:	I Want To Get Back To My Guru
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/30/2007 3:25 PM MDT

Sat sri akal.

My name is Vivek. For 1 year ago i didnt knw god or let say that i didnt even knw my self. I used to drink, smoke, have sex every other day. Then one day my cousin took me to Gurudwara and there was a big turning point in my life. I started going to Gurudwara every sunday, started listening to shabads, quit smoking and drinking, recite the Naam every day, started waking up at Amritvela etc. and i just felt vaheguru around me and after a while dont knw what happened my business started going down, got a lot of family problems, and i started smoking, havent been at gurudwara in a while or recite the naam neither have i read Japji sahib or anand sahib in a long time which i did every day before. But now most of the problems are over and i want to get back to the same person i was a while ago. but it feels hard. i want to recite the naam again but somewhere something inside me stops me. i feel very ashamed abt what happened feels like i was doing a lot to please god when everything was working fine and as soon as i got some problems i left god behind and thought that he wont help me. but the truth is that maybe it was just a test he was taking and i failed it. please talk to me and answer my question i have no one to talk to abt this. help me become the same person i was or even a better person. and btw i really like u people u r great. u guys help a lot of people plz help me to.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki fateh...
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reply
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Dear one,
We all sin and make mistakes. Fortunately, God is forgiving and will always love us.
You must forgive yourself. When you feel that gui;t rising up in you and you want to run....say outloud (to yourself) "In the Name of God and GUru I forgive myself" Say this 3X. Then Forgive "God" for letting you make the misdeed. Got it covered?

Also, give yourself a 40 day seva to do to put that redemption to work. For example, do shoe seva at the GUrdwara, help to make langar, serve langar every day or every sunday for the next 6 months and so on. I am sure you can think of many other seva's to do.

God bless you for your return.
SKKK