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Summary of Question:	Not Sure What I Should Do?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 10/25/2002 10:55 AM MDT

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

I'm not sure if i should be asking this question as it's not related to a spiritual context but in some ways it might. But i don't really have anyone else to turn to, so i'm asking for some guidance because waheguru has all the answers. This is a very strange problem but i'll tell you anyway. I know this girl who is also a Sikh, who i really like and i believe she feels the same way about me. The only problem is she is not willing to tell her parents about me as she feels it would hurt her parents feelings, as she claims that only they should decide her fate. In some ways i thought this was silly especially in this day and age but i respected her wishes and said that i will not pressure or come in her way. I'm a post-grad and she's an undergrad and maybe this problem is partly to do with us being in different stages in our life. But i asked one question, was for her to say that she didn't want anything to do with me etc. She still can't say it, that's what makes me think that she wants to make a go of things but is either afraid to tell her parents even though she really doesn't know what the consequences will be. Her parents and my parents really know each other really well, so i always thought there would be hope. But everytime i'm confronted with the same dilemma, that little hope seems to be become smaller. I'm at a point where i don't want to feel hurt anymore but the only thing i have in my mind is what the Gurus have taught us that if you want something in life ask god with a true heart. I try to follow as much as i can of what our Gurus have taught us in the Bani. I practise meditation to forget about my worries. This problem is still sticking in me. I feel a bit lost, so i really wanted to ask what would god really want me to do?, whether i should stand by, keep faith and take a chance and try to make things work even though she has no back bone?, or should i give up and move on in my life considering the fact that if i really mean't that much to her she would at least make some kind of effort?

You may not have the answers, but any spiritual guidance may be helpful.
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Reply
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Your mind is flirting with an idea. Get ahold of your mind. It is running wild. Turn your emotion into devotion. Take this 'worry' or obsession and give it over COMPLETELY to the Guru. Let the Guru handle this affair for you and let it go!

All the time you spend thinking about this girl you could be applying your mind to peaceful throughts of Guru. You must train your mind, rather than your mind training you.

You should start doing a daily breath meditation: Sudarshan chakra kriya. You can find the description by searching for "Jai Dev" or the name of the kriya as I have mentioned. Do this daily for 90 days, 11 minutes a day. Uplift you mind, you are too much in the earth. You need more either.

God bless you,
SKKK