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Summary of Question:Need To Make A Decision Asap!
Category:General Sikhism
Date Posted:Thursday, 2/19/2009 6:46 PM MST

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki pathey. I am a 20 year Sikh girl who is into sikhi and am caught up in life. I started talking to a guy when I was 17 we went to the same high school, as soon as we started talking people came up to me and told me that he’s not a good guy and told me to get away from him. This was always in my mind but I still kept talking to him because I liked the fact that he was religious but I always had the feeling that I couldn't trust him. He told me he wanted to marry me and stuff but I knew that I was too young to even think about marriage and I knew there was something about him that did not allow me to trust him. So as time passed I found out that he had a girlfriend whom he also planned to marry and he had introduced her to his family. When I found this out, I completely stopped communicating with him but I told him that I forgave him but I did not want to do anything with him. His girlfriend also found out that he was talking to me so she broke ties with him too. I learnt a lot form this situation and worked on myself getting closer to Waheguru and make my self a better person. But now we started talking again after 3 years and he told me that the reason he started talking to me at that time was because he was having problems with his girlfriend and by talking to me he felt better because we used to talk about gurubani and gurusikhi. So now we are talking and he told me he never stopped loving me and he wants to marry me. And he said maybe all that happened for a reason. But I feel that I can't trust him and I feel that the reason why he is talking to me is because he didn’t get his girlfriend back and also I feel that talking to him affects my spirituality as I am still working on myself and it also affects my studying. I also don’t want to be in a relationship with him behind my parents back as I love them dearly. But I feel that I have strong feelings for him he told me that I have changed him a lot and that he learns from me. I also told him that I love him and want to marry him but I don’t know if I do or not and I keep changing my mind and this is not fair to him. I feel that if I come close to him I am going to do things that I will regret later on. I told him that I don’t want to be with him because it distracts me and I want focus on myself. He says that do whatever you want and that he will always love mw. I told him stop talking me but he always ends up e mailing me and saying he cant live without talking to me and I always end up talking to him and then at the same time I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t know what to do?? Do I love him because he shows that he loves me? He says that he sees God in me and I told him God is in everyone not just me. I am a very religious girl and I can’t love someone who thinks of me more then God. I don’t know what to do. Should I stay with him or not? He says that he needs me in his life to make it better but I told him just do your nam simran that will help you not me. Why do I keep wanting to talk to him? Please any input is welcomed. Thank you!

Dear one, even you in your devotion are not immune to lust and pride. This fellow's false words of admiration have clouded your good judgement because you have succombed to the desire to be admired and appreciated. While this is a normal human response, for you it is stupid and foolish and naiive. God already showed you his nature. Now you are simply flirting. Really.

WAKE UP! He is playing with your foolish sentiments. This is God giving you a chance to wake up and see that there is NOTHING for you with him. But you have not shut the door on him. So, you are in a duality. Is this a problem? Not if you correct your mind and get it out of this flirtation. Look up flirt in the dictionary. Write a paper on "I am not a flirt". Really. Also know that until you kick this guy OUT of your mind....there will not be room even for Wahe Guru. :) I love you too.........Bless yourself please SK

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