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Summary of Question:	Marriage Ceremony Is Unequal!
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 12/29/2001 10:51 PM MST

Satsriakal, please answer this question: why does the man usually walk in front of the woman if they are doing parkarma? The man, as many old-traditioned people of the punjabi culture believe is the leader, or better. This is totally wrong maybe even opposite it seems bcause most women are more decent than most men. They should be walking side by side right?

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

When the marriage ceremony takes place, the man and the woman walk in a circle around the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The emphasis is on the Guru Granth Sahib. In this manner, both the woman and the man are always the same distance from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. If they were walking side by side, one person would be further away from the Guru, and THEN not equal. By keeping the people one in front and one in back, both woman and man are equal in terms of the Guru. That is the main point, it is about how Equally far the couple is from the Guru Granth Sahib at each point when they go around.

Secondly, the man walks in front of the woman. This signifies that the woman can easily catch up to the man, but the man has to go all the way around (remember they are walking in a circle) to catch up to the woman.

Thirdly, the woman is holding on to the man, signifying that she is able to restrain him. Just like when riding a horse, the rider holds the reins to control the horse (in some sense the horse is in front of the rider), the woman can control the speed of the man.

When looking at the Sikh marriage ceremony as the way it should be and the way it was meant to be, it can be seen that the emphasis is placed on the individual's and the couples distance from the Guru, not from themselves. It is always the Guruji that is the center of attention. When comparing this to a Christian ceremony where the father gives away the bride (as if she were some piece of property), it can be seen that a Sikh wedding has much more equality and much more meaning.

Gur Fateh,
HSD