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Summary of Question:	Serious Stuff
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/23/2001 6:32 PM MDT

DEAR SIKHNET,

I WRITE TO YOU NOT TO SEEK ANSWERS,BUT TO SEEK ADVICE AS I BELIEVE THERE ARE NO REALSET IN STONE ANSWERS TO MY DILEMMA! THE PROBLEM I HAVE CONCERNS RADHA SOAMI. THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT ME AND MY FAMILY ARE WHAT YOU WOULD CALL ORTHODOX SIKHS, IN THAT ALTHOUGH WE ARE NOT ALL AMRITSHKI WE DO BELIEVE IN THE TRADITOIN VIEWS. I MYSELF, AM AS DEVOTED TO SIKHI AS A HUMAN WITH CUT HAIR CAN BE AND HOPE TO BECOME AMRITSHAKIA MYSELF,WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. MY PROBLEM IS THAT IM SEEING A GIRL WHO IS RADHA SOAMI AND I AM THINKING OF MARRYING HER, THIS HAS LED TO ME ASKING MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT RELIGION AND FAITH. THE REASON FOR MY CONFUSION STEMS FROM THE FACT THAT I BELIEVE IN ORTHODOX SIKHI BUT AS YET, I AM NOT PRACTICING!SO I CANT PREACH BELIEFS TO MY GIRLFREIND THAT I DO NOT PRACTICE.
FIRSTLY I WAS WONDERING WHAT THE GENERAL OPINION OF THE SIKH COMMUNITY IS ON RADHA SOAMI, AS I OFTEN READ LITERATURE PUBLISHED MY ORGANISATIONS LIKE B.O.S.S (BRITISH ORGANISATION OF SIKH STUDENTS) WHICH DESCRIBES THE RADHA SOAMI PEOPLE AS A, "CANCER", WHICH IS DEVOURING SIKHI! THIS REALLY HURTS ME ,AS YOU COULD IMAGINE.
SECONDLY I WAS WONDERING WHETHER THERE WOULD BE ANY MAJOR PROBLEMS WHICH I HAVE OVER LOOKED, CONCERNING THE TWO OF US GETTING MARRIED. WILL THE GURDWARA LET US?
ALTHOUGH THIS MAY APPEAR TO BE LITTLE KIDDIES QUESTIONS,THEY ARE NOT TO ME. I AM 20 YEARS OLD AND THIS DECISION ON WHETHER TO MARRY MY GIRLFREIND WILL HAVE MAJOR EFFECTS ON MY LIFE. THE WEIRD THING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING IS THAT HER MUMS SIDE OF THE FAMILY ARE ORTHODOX SIKH,WHICH CONFUSES MATTERS FURTHER AS THINGS ARE NEARLY SIMPLE YET COMPLICATED.
I REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT ON THIS MATTER, AND FOR THAT REASON I ASK FOR YOU TO TAKE GREAT CARE IN A HELPFULL REPLY, WHETHER IT BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE ADVICE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, HArminder
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Reply
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Greetings and blessings to you in the Name of God and Guru.

First of all, the opinions of the community, slander and negative talk should be of no consern to you.

The Roadaswami's are a spiritual group. But your girlfirend is an individual whom you obviously care about.

My advice to you is for both of you to start studying and learning about Sikhee. Start reading from the Guru. Recite shabds, study history, do Bani's and begin your spiritual relationship. The only way to find out if the Gurdwara will marry you is to ask. If one Gurdwara says no,....then find a Gurdwara that will be supportive to you and perform the marriage.

You can read the English translation of "Jap Ji Sahib" daily for the next 90 days....outloud.......and together.....alternate lines. You can find it at: http://www.sikhnet.com/s/gurugranthsahib. It will give you wisdom and understading to live your life with grace.

God bless you, SKKK