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Summary of Question:Dating
Category:Love & Marriage
Date Posted:Tuesday, 5/05/2009 7:58 PM MDT

About 5-7 weeks ago I had a dream about a girl I was somewhat attracted to, not physically, but enjoyed the way she talked and laughed. The dream was about us falling in love with each other. Again, noting sexual. I couldn't stop thinking about her for the next day, and to get her out of my mind I went to the library where I was studying (still thinking about the dream a little) and of all the people I see, I see her. Then the next day she didn't come to school, but the day after she talking to me for the first time. Ever since we havnt talked but sometimes I feel like I should try and other times I don't feel the same way.


There hasn't been a day that has gone by when I havn't thought about her. I'm a senior and 17 year old Sikh and she's the same age. Now, if she was Sikh then I would talk to her more, but she is an Asian who practices Christianity. I feel like we would have a lot in common but our beliefs is what is preventing me from getting to know her more.

On the other hand, she's really nice and I just feel like I dont want her to get away because of our religion.

I'm extremely lost here and would greatly appreciate some help.

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REPLY
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Sat Nam,

This is a very hard question you are asking. If you are still having the same issue or may have something like that in the future here is something to consider.
Any relationship can work if you really try and make it work. The problem is that relationships even within your respective faith is very hard. It is hard to understand one another in any situation, it is hard to be happy and make each other happy and have things flow smoothly. If you talk to just about anyone who is married they will tell you a lot about it. It helps tremendously to have the same spiritual background and already at least agree on one big issue in life.
When you meet someone of a different religion you have to ask yourself how open minded you both are to each other's religions. Questions usually will come up about both of you having to decide who's faith is more important. If this relationship was to take form and potentially grow into marriage which one of you will be willing to give up your religion and convert into the other one. And if neither one will want to make that step then how will you be raising your children? How would both of your families take this kind of situation and are you prepared to deal with their heartache? What if believes of your religions are somehow opposite on different issues how would you be prepared to work with that and not offend one another?
There are many people who chose to work differences like these out every day but if you ask any of them they will tell you that is is very very hard and requires a lot of sacrifice.
You are only 17 and so is she. Neither one of you is even remotely familiar with problems serious relationships impose on people and what it takes to make it work even in the easiest circumstances.
I think it would be great if you were just friends for now and explored that kind of a relationship before moving any further and making things more serious. It is always best to see if you could survive a long time as friends first.

Good Luck,
DKK



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