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Summary of Question:	Re: Caste System
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Sunday, 3/16/2003 8:41 PM MDT

Hi,

your story so similar to mines. Except, i chose to be in the arranged marriage and leave the boy. My family made many many many sacrifices, i felt like i was in debt to them. I myself asked WHY this caste system? It was developed many years back before my ancestors and doesn't have anything to do with me. Sadly honey, it goes on & on...i won't go into details about my story but will tell you that i was left to the choice of leaving my family to be with the man i wanted to be with or leaving him, i have a younger brother i knew his life was going to be hell and dependent on every move i made. I chose my family over him... some will agree with me some wont. I am not sure if i regret what i did. I have a wonderful husband, maybe i would have other feelings if he had turned out to be a drunk, wifebeating man, which he isn't. I leave it to god to judge me. In your case, if your mate decides to be in this arrangement his parents have made for him then im sorry my friend...you can't do anything about it. He needs to stand upto his parents and you need to do the same. As the punjabi saying "taali do hath naal vajdi hai"(u need 2 hands to clap). If one of you decides to back down the other can't fight alone to be together. I am not sure if this will bring forth any guidance to you, but maybe some comfort that you aren't alone. There are many out there, each with different and unique circumstances as to why they "follow" or give in to their parents choices about the caste system. May God bless you.
You may get my email from moderators if you need a friend.