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Summary of Question:	I Want To Die
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 1/17/2002 3:20 PM MST

For some years now I have felt that I do not belong on this world. I thought that maybe I was ill or something so I checked with a doctor and a psychologist and I do not have depression or any other illness. Basically, I live my life wondering when I will die. I am only 22 years old yet I do not want to be on this world anymore. I do paat everyday, night and morning and that is basically the only time I feel worth living for. I go to school so I don't have all the free time in the world either. So, my problem is that I don't want to be here, on earth. I want to be gone. Whenever I start reading about Guru Gobind Singh Ji I start crying. I do not know why. It is not that I have a hard or tough life, it is quite the contrary, everything in my life I am sure that many people would kill to get (I come from a well settled, financialy free family, I go to one of the best colleges in the nation and I have many opportunities ahead of me) but all of this is of no consequence to me. I feel that it does not matter what one's life disposition is. How can I get rid of this life? What do the Gurus say about this? Lately, all I have been caring about is what the Gurus think, I am almost obsessed by it. I want to be gone from here and be with them. When I read chopaee I feel that it is truth coming out to me. How do I join them? I don't want to live anymore. Don't worry I will never commit suicide, but I will welcome death anytime it comes to me.

Thank you for your kindness and for offering such a service. You people are great.

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REPLY
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I understand how you feel. The longing to go back home is always strong in all of us who understnd in our hearts that this world we see is not our true home. Recognize your longing for what it is - a desire to merge with God - and a desire to sit in the celestial court. Now fulfil that desire right here and now in this body. You were born into this lifetime for a purpose. This earth is here because it is the realm of Karma. It is where we do our work. There is no other place in the universe where we can do it. If we did not have work to do here, we would not have taken this birth. Merge with God every morning in the amrit vela and carry that awareness around with you all day - with joy, ecstacy and service to others. Sit in the celestial court every time you sit in the Satsangat and listen to the Guru's divine bani. Why do you want to get rid of this life? It is an opportunity to serve and pay your karmas with grace so you can go home with honor.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji says:



Those who deeply know who they are, and have worked hard, can rejoice and go Home.
O Nanak! Their faces shine with joy and they take many others along.

So, work hard! Inspire others to the Guru's Path - and THEN go Home!

.....G