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Summary of Question:	Parents And $$
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 5/20/2004 12:14 PM MDT

sat siri akal, first off i want to say that this is a great site where many ppl like myself are gaining knowledge about sikhism.

first a little background for my question... i have an older sister who got married 3 years ago, and i am next. i have a good job where i earn more than my parents. since we were going though some difficult financial times during the time of my sisters marriage, i helped out my parents alot, i would end up giving them 75% of my paycheck and the rest would automattically go into my GIC, which left next to nothing for me at the time. but since then, we had moved to a different house, and things have jus been getting worse, like i love my parents but their financial decision are jus terrible, they are not planning for their future, but are more worried about getting their girls married off properly. it really stresses me cause im paying for my schooling too without the assistance of a student loan, i know i have to help them out since they gave me life etc. but im jus wondering, you know that 10% thing that we have to give (its called daan pun or something) does it count if its to the parents instead of a gurdwara or some other place?? is it good enough that im helping them out instead of a homeless person or the local gurdwara? am i doing the right thing, or should i stop cause they are depending on me too much? ugh im so confused i dont know what to do, and if they ask me i cant say no to them! plz let me know if im doing the right thing...thank you so much

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It is difficult for me to give you advise without more information. I will have to make some assumptions here. If you are in university, I assume that your parents are not seniors and are capable of still working. If this is correct, I would try to help them help themselves. You have your life ahead of you. It is not your responsibility to take care of your parents when they are still at the age of being able to care for themselves. You are in the life cycle of education, job, marriage, home, children, etc. Your parents are not in the cycle yet of retiring. Perhaps they need some counseling to get them organized again. Investigate what resources you have available in your community that can help them or help you help them. Is there anyone in your Sikh community that you trust that they would listen to? By you continuing to take care of them you are only enabling them to remain helpless. The goal must be for them to become self-sufficient again. Let us know how it goes. I hope this was helpful with the information you gave. Blessings. GTKK