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Summary of Question:	Innocent And Insulted
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 3/24/2003 8:04 AM MDT

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA

WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

Let me start out by saying that the moderators on this forum are simply fantastic in whatever way they advice us youngsters.

Well, as every other time, when i find no one to talk to and am in dire stress, yet again i have come to u!

I think it was wednesday of last week, when US started the attack on iraq. Well, i went to my sister's best friend's place to look for my sister and have lunch with her (this was in the afternoon). I heard loud music from inside and so wanted to give all a surprise. Unfortunately, i opened the door without knocking. Her friend was mad at me. She stays alone and so got scared to death. When i asked her as to why she didn't lock the door, she said that she had just come out to throw trash. Please note that i do admit my mistake and did say sorry to her, there and then itself. Also, i stayed at the door and didn't go in, not a single step inside! I enquired about my sister and went away, and since i have middle-eastern looks (like many Punjabi guys), she started yelling terrorist at me from behind, to vent out her anger. On that day, if some cop had heard her, it would've been the end of me. But i went away. Later that evening when my sister went to visit her, she was still mad. My sister was also mad, and called my mom and told her to tell me to apologise. Also, my mom apologised on my behalf to this girl. She told my mom that she won't talk to me anymore, which my mom agreed. And since my parents know me well, they knew that what happened was a childish prank as well a stupid mistake, and definitely not a sin or a crime. 2 days back on saturday, this girl comes up to me at my work, and tells me to come outside. She talks as though she would break down in tears. She says that she respects my mother a lot, but only 1 guy (her bf) had the right to enter her house that way. After saying this, she slapped me and walked away. Since i wasn't feeling well that day, and since i had started to feel pity on her seeing her face, it took me some time to react. I called up my parents and they in turn warned my sister never to be her friend again.

All i ask is WHY! she threatened my mom and me that she could call the cops. How? am i a stranger to her? i always said that she was like my sister! how can she do this then! For the last 3 years she and my sister are best friends. My parents and me despise this girl as we are well aware of her real colors. The major error in this case goes to my sister who made this female feel liberal enuff to slap me, and forced my mom to say sorry to her. I feel very much insulted for doing a stupid mistake, which was purely unintentional, a prank actually. I am having a hard time controlling my anger and dont want to do something stupid in order to seek revenge. There was no need to strike me after me, my sister, and my mom have apologised...how many apologies does she need! maybe she was indulging in some unethical conduct which she thought i had seen (although i never saw anything), and so before she ran the risk of me insulting her, she thought it better to insult me! which is so lame!

Please let me know what i can do, at least for myself, other than talking to her again which isn't possible anymore.

awaiting your as usual healing reply

Guru Fateh

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Unfortunately, these days people are upset, they over-react, and can say and do stupid things. There's a saying about don't make "A tempest in a teapot!" This incident shows that your sister's friend was unbalanced, and obviously frightened, so she reacted way out of proportion to your simply opening the door. I do believe the best thing you can do is forget it, and get on with your life, pray to be able to forgive her for her ignorance, and definitely do NOT do anything to get "revenge"! That would be stupid, and would simply make the situation escalate. Let it go. Done is done. If people are so shallow that they break relationships over a simple mistake, then I don't think there's anything you can do to "fix" things. You've already apologized, and so has your mother. Don't pollute your own consciousness with anger or resentment, remember, as Shakespeare said, "To err is human, to forgive, divine." Turn to the words of Guru for comfort and wisdom, and realize that all these human karmic actions are temporary. All we can do is do our best to be kind to one another, not matter what, and leave the results to God. Blessings, SP