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Summary of Question:	Attractivness
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 8/08/2008 3:20 AM MDT

I'm 17 years old and the issue I wanted to find an answer to was about my feeling toward women. It seems that because I am surrounded mostly by American girls, I feel more attracted to them than Sikh girls. I decided that I want to marry a girl who doesnt cut her hair or shave her legs, but because I have been brought up in this society, i just dont feel attracted to Sikh women. What do I do feel less attracted to American girls and more attracted to Sikh girls?

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REPLY
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Dear Ravneet,

It is not that difficult to find someone to fall in love with, but when it comes to building a serious relationship together you may want to look for certain qualities in a partner. In your situation I would say even if you wanted to build a life with an American woman you would have to see first how open minded is she to exploring your spiritual traditions. How accepting is she and how willing is she to be part of your spiritual traditions.

Any relationship may work if it is built on mutual trust, understanding and respect and these things require a lot of work.
You may find yourself having to educate this girl on lots and lots of things about your religion so you could be on the same page. You may also run into issues of her wanting to educate you on her religion. Is that something you would be willing to explore or be open minded to. All these things will eventually make you think if it is worth it. And if it is than give it your best shot, but if it is not don’t waste your time or hers.

When you get older and start thinking of marriage and kids another question will come up very strongly and that is: How are we going to bring up our kids? Are we going to teach them to be Sikhs, Christians or Buddhist etc. ….or educate them on all religions? When you look for a relationship you always have to ask yourself all the practical questions that will effect your future, your partner’s future and your kids.
What kind of life would you like your kids to have?

What if you run into problems with that girl’s relatives not wanting to let you bring up your kids in your own tradition or your parents not wanting their grandkids to be of a different faith? Can you handle that kind of pressure as a man and why would you have to put yourself through that?

Either way, it is your decision on how you would want to conduct your life but you would have to take all the responsibility for all the choices you make in the most mature way when you are ready. You will have to realize that there a consequences to everything you do, whether it is one thing or completely opposite. Nothing is easy in life, it just has to be worth it.

I hope this clarifies things a bit.

DK