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Summary of Question:	Christian Woman Marrying Sikh Man
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 5/05/2004 10:34 PM MDT

hi,

i'm south indian baptist christian and i'm in love with a punjabi sikh (jatt).
if we could we'd love to get married to each other..we've been together for 3 yrs now...but as time goes by and i'm learning more about sikhsim and the punjabi culture...i don't see how its possible for us to get married. i love my parents and family alot, but for him i am willing to change my religion...i asked if he would do the same for me not that i wanted him to he said he couldn't even answer that question and that really hurt...the more i started thinking about it i realized that by changing my religion i'd be breakin my parents heart....it would almost be a slap to there face like telling them thanks for ur religion but i don't want u the values that u've instilled in me...and i don't want to do that...i don't want my bf to change his religion either. i don't want him to fight with his family about me either...after all life's not a movie...i guess my question would be is it possible for a christian woman and sikh man to get married without changing each other's religion.
by christian standards its not accepted...i'm sure its the same for sikh too..
all i can say is that when i met my bf..i feel in love with him for him for evreything about him..his religion his culture...i didn't think of oh no love can't happen between 2 diff. types of ppl.

help please...save my heart from being completly broken.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I don't know how to avoid heartbreak for you. Marriage between you two would bring sorrow to both families, and ultimately to you. Religion is not something to be followed just for appearances, it is a deeply profound and basic part of the identity especially of a Sikh. One of our basic tenets is that we do not worship God in any human form, and yet you as a good Christian have the opposite practice, and your worship of Jesus the Christ is part of who you are. As Sikhs, we can love Jesus, and appreciate his enlightened teachings, but we don't and can't worship him. How would you raise your children without compromising values on one side or the other? (Don't think you can "let them choose." That simply doesn't work, and it's unfair to the children, as they will lack a firm and solid spiritual foundation without a definite path to follow.) I am truly sorry that you got yourself into this situation, and I wish there were some easy solution. If you feel in your heart that you could become a Sikh, then MAYBE, perhaps, that might work, but otherwise, I don't see any future for you two. Please pray for guidance. Blessings, SP